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Many pupils life is far from healthy. Who's responsible, what's the solution?


Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Oct 25, 2016   #1
WRITING TASK 2 UNIT 2 C PAGE 24
Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.
To what extend do you agree with this statements?


Over time, the most young have several activities every day. It makes them unsure to life far from healthy. Many young need responsibility from parents and school to help and avoid them from unhealthy life away especially food. I tend to disagree if only parents and schools can help young. But children can manage themselves from bad style in their life.

Many children are enjoy with modern style. This cause by many activities that children doing every day such as school, course and playing sport. For instance, children ensure to eat more junk food than traditional food. As a result, children easier to get diseases than before and makes them in bad condition. So, they must be careful with food that they eat such as keep eat with healthy food and they need responsibility from their parents and schools.

Parents and schools are two aspects can help children who always life in bad situation. Because children have strong relationship with their parents and they always spend their time at home with their parents such as in before go to school, after school and weekend. And children have good communication with members in the schools such as teacher. Many ways can parents and school doing for keep their children. For instance, before young go to school, parents give food for lunch in school and schools must have hygiene cafe to children who want to bus some food. So it makes children keep their healthy.

On the other hand, children who want be healthy, they must to prepare food themselves may choose what they buy or eat more carefully consider a range of aspect that include quality and hygiene the food. Because, only they are who know in good condition. For example, they prepare to eat fresh food with vegetable than they eat junk food. So it can keep them from diseases.

To sum up, parents and schools have high responsibility to hoard children from bad lifestyle especially food. But, in my opinion, children have the biggest responsibility for themselves, because just they are who know their real condition.

faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Oct 25, 2016   #2
Over time, the most younginfants / pupils have several activities every day

Many youngchildren / pupils/ teenager / teen need responsibility from ...

Young is kind of adjectiveit is not noun. So, you can't place it there.

... and schools can help youngyoung people / other words that already i given before

ButBecausechildren can manage themselves ...

But is refer to contradict your previous sentence. The sentence looks like not contradict, so you it kind of strength your idea.

This causeis caused by many activities that ...

Remember ! passive form
Anna94 47 / 56 3  
Oct 25, 2016   #3
Hello,

Over time, the most young [people][you have to make it clear, who is young] have several activities every day
activities that children doing every day such as [going to ] school, [taking ] course and playing sport [remember the parallel structures]
such as keep eat with healthy food [how about >> keep eating healthy food ]
children who always life [it must be verb >> live ] in bad situation
they must to [remember that modals are follow by to ] prepare food themselves

......the biggest responsibility for themselves, because just they are who know their real condition. >> you have to paraphrase this sentence, so it is not same with the body sentence exactly.

Gluck :D
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Oct 28, 2016   #4
Hai willyy! here are my suggestions for you

Over time, the most young have several activities every day.
the most + adjective (more than 2 syllables)
so, the most youngyoungest
but, youngest is not a proper word. you can change into children/teenagers

It makes them unsure toof life far from healthy.
to + V1 --> life is an adjective.

Many children are enjoy with modern style.

........... such as school, course and playing sport.
conjunction 'and' must be equal for its noun/verb which is linked with it

As a result, children are easier to get diseases than before and makes them in bad condition you have mentioned about the comparisons, so do not need to mention it over again

GOODLUCK!


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