Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

pursue a career, new experiences, knowledge; attending a college or university can fulfill all of it


payal1982 10 / 19 5  
Jul 19, 2016   #1
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge).Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Higher education is essential in many ways. Whether you want to pursue a career, gain new experiences or add knowledge, attending a college or university can fulfill all of these desires. Statistics indicate an increase in the number of students enrolling for degree courses in colleges in the last decade. In my opinion, people attend college or university for career preparation. I have few reasons to support my view which are discussed further.

First, there is a significant competition in professional world today. The hierarchies established in big corporates or organizations are based not only on work experience but also on the educational qualifications of an individual. Most of the jobs require bachelor's or a Master's degree for a particular job. Therefore, salary range may vary according to the degree one has. Students aspiring to reach management or executive level pursue advanced studies in management or other specialized courses. For example, there was a recent report published by Harvard University in reference to their two year MBA program. The profiles of prospective candidates were quite diverse and included many who already had their Master's /PhD. Therefore, this makes me believe that people these days attend colleges to reach highest level in their careers.

Second, the courses at universities often include projects or internships which is counted as work experience. Apart from educational requirements, many firms seek out for candidates who have on hands or practical experience. Many companies tie up with universities and offer internships to the graduates as a part of curriculum. It gives an exposure to the students and prepares them for their jobs. Thus, the projects and internships are relevant for many jobs.

In conclusion, I believe people attend colleges or universities to help them in the advancement of their careers. Getting enrolled for a program not only helps them attain a degree certificate but also adds practical exposure as projects or internships. Both of these are required in today's competitive job market and definitely these students have higher edge in comparison to others

kantyjang 8 / 15  
Jul 20, 2016   #2
Most of the jobs require bachelor's or a Master's degree for a particular job. I am just a little curious. Are "most of the jobs" and "for a particular job" contradictory?

Hi Payal,
My English is not very well. I am still learning now.
I hope we can learn from each other more.
Keely
madmoiselle 21 / 33 5  
Jul 20, 2016   #3
You have an understandable essay :) here is my suggestion for the first paragraph:

I have few reasons to support my view which arewill be discussed furtherin this essay.
huynhngocminh99 4 / 13 9  
Jul 20, 2016   #4
Hi Payal ! Is this an ielts essay? If it is,I think the first pagragraph must be an introduction. Though it is no rules, it would be better for you to write 2 or 3 sentences only for a clear introduction (just like the conclusion). Supporting ideas such as statistics should be spared for the body. Here are some contributions:

Whether you want to pursue a career, gain new experiences or widen your horizons,
"Most of the jobs require bachelor's or a Master's degree for a particular job" this sentence is not very clear.
a bachelor's or a Master's degree is becom increasingly important as employers base on it to decide one's salary.
management manager and executive
two-year MBA program
"therefore, the projects and internships are relevant for many jobs" relevant to. However, i think you should use phrases such as important or essential for

i am not sure about have higher edge i have tried to look it up on macmillan dict but there is only the phrase edge higher means (prices) increase. If possible, you should change it. If it really exist, please let me know and give me an example as I am quite fond of it.

Let's learn together.


Home / Writing Feedback / pursue a career, new experiences, knowledge; attending a college or university can fulfill all of it