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IELTS TASK 2 the quality of life is decreasing

thiet sun 5 / 6 1  
Nov 26, 2015   #1
In many big cities in the world, the quality of life is decreasing. What are the causes and solutions for this?
can you please check and evaluate band score of my essay?
The decline in quality of life in individual citizens is becoming one of the most important problems that governments are much concerned about. The aim of this essay is to investigate factors responsible for this issue and put forward a number of the ways to resolve this situation.

The reasons behind the decrease in the quality of life are numerous. The deterioration of environment seems to be the first reason of this issue. It is true that the boom of population and globalization makes environment suffer so much industrial waste and living waste. This causes in the air and river pollution in big cities hence affecting on people's health. For instance, the Red River and To Lich River in Ha Noi is now highly polluted by littering of residents around that rivers, this triggers many diseases for people in Ha Noi. Another important reason which contributes to the reduction of the quality of life in megacity is a huge boom of population. It is the pressure of significant population increase that makes competition in labour market become fiercer and scarcer; therefore, only qualified job hunters can be employed. Consequently, the unemployment rate increases and the salary rank is meager this makes individuals live on tight budget.

A number of measures can be taken in order to reserve the problem of living standard deterioration in today's society. Firstly, governments should come up with more policies to enhance waste collection systems and combine with public media to encourage citizens to reduce littering and contaminating. By doing this, can pollution be declined and public awareness of environment enhanced. Secondly, governments should heavily subsidize every economic sector to create more job opportunities. Having more job opportunities offers will the employment ratio, this is an embodiment of a society with a higher level of living standard.

In conclusion, There are various factors leading to the deterioration of the quality of life has figured out; however, this is no mean that we surrender to this phenomenon because many measures can be taken to tackle this.

hasbi 29 / 42 23  
Nov 26, 2015   #2
In many big cities in the world, the quality of life is decreasin g. What are the causes andsolutions for this?

here my advice for you, it would be better if you make a essay plan before write your essay
look at closer to my essay plan below:
What are causes and solutions to the picture that big cities are witnessing a decrease in the quality of life?

- environment pollution
-traffic congestion

-take a rest, slow down lives
-let technology be controlled by us
-bring freshness and nature back to cities

i'll try to rewrite your introduction:

The quality of life in big cities deteriorates [...] of the ways to resolve this situation.

The world's biggest cities are alluring new inhabitants the way giant sponges are sucking the water out of their surrounding areas. Despite the various benefits the cities can provide, the life quality suffers under the diverse set of environmental and socio-economic issues. In current essay the most prevalent reasons and solutions will be discussed

to be part and parcel of introduction paragraph is if people who read your introduction, they can immediately to imagine the next paragraph(body pargraph)

good luck

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