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The quantity of Internet Express - My paragraph is too long. How can I make it short?


ka9xxl 1 / -  
Jul 6, 2022   #1

The graph shows the income of four cafes in New York in 12 months over the last year.



[body 1]:
Regarding the quantity of Internet Express fluctuated over the period given. This figure started at under $100,000 and went down slightly to $80,000 in April then levelled off there until June. The period from November to December witnessed an impressive increase to under $140,000 in the figure for Internet Express after growing gradually to around $120,000 between July and November. The number of Wi-fi Café rose inconsiderately to over $60,000 in March. This figure grew sharply to nearly $100,000 in July before declining steeply to about $60,000 in September. Wi-fi Café' number of incomes went up rapidly to approximately $19,000 over the next four months. The figure for Café Cool income went up and down between over $30,000 and nearly $60,000 during the first nine months. The was a marginal growth of $60,000 in that of Café Cool and reach the highest point of $120,000 in December.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Jul 7, 2022   #2
The paragraph became too long because there was no discussion outline created prior to the writing of information. Learning to group the presentation ideas over at least 2 presentation paragraphs would provide that needed guidance. Before drafting anything, always figure out what needs to be said, what grouped data is involved, and how to say it. By figuring those out early on, one will be able to create drafts of a proper length. Focus on quick data sharing and short analysis ina task 1 essay. Those will help the writer produce 3-5 sentences in the paragraph. Remember that it is not a vocabulary exercise so data presentation in the priority. The data for Wifi Express should have been ina new paragraph since it is a different company.


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