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IELTS Writing Task 2 question. 'Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant..'


addictivemate 1 / -  
Mar 19, 2014   #1
Hi There,

I have spotted that every task 2 question contains the following sentence "Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience."

I am slightly confused because in majority of the band 8 essays, people have not used the words 'For Example' or 'For Instance'. They have simply stated their opinion and gave reasons for that opinion. Do we have to give examples from real-life scenarios for each and every question?

Do we need to give example for each and every idea? What if there are 3 ideas or solutions. Do I need to use For Example/For Instance for all three ideas?

Lets look at the following question from Cambridge IELTS 7 :

Quote
Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money.Do you agree or disagree?Which other types of job should be highly paid?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

This is the model answer:

Quote
I agree with the view that stars in the entertainment business are usually over paid. This is true whether we are considering stars of film, sport or popular music, and it often seems that the amount of money they are able to earn in a short time cannot possibly be justified by the amount of work they do.

However, it is also true that it is only those who reach the very top of their profession who can get these huge salaries. So the size of salary that stars expect is closely linked to the competition they have to overcome in order to reach success.They are, in effect, rare talents.

Furthermore, the majority of stars do not hold their top positions long. Sport stars and pop stars, for example, are soon replaced by the next younger, more energetic, generation, while the good looks of most film stars quickly fade. So this relatively short working life may be some justification for the very high pay.

Unfortunately, professionals from other fields, who make a much greater contribution to human society, are paid so much less that it is hard to disagree with the statement. Teachers, nurses, laboratory researchers etc.are never listed among the best-paid professionals, yet they are more important to our well-being and our future than the stars who earn their fortunes so quickly.

In conclusion, I think there may be some reasons why entertainment stars earn high salaries but overall I agree that they are overpaid. The gaps between their earnings and those of people who work less selfishly for the good of society cannot be justified. Such professionals should be much better appreciated and better

I cannot see any personal examples in this?

Thanks a ton!

Regards,

Andy

Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 19, 2014   #2
Let's give a look at your body paras;

However, it is also true that it is only those who reach the very top of their profession who can get these huge salaries. So the size of salary that stars expect is closely linked to the competition they have to overcome in order to reach success.They are, in effect, rare talents.

This too needs improvement in terms of structure.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 20, 2014   #3
You need to improve a lot on your structure. Follow the guideline provided by Pahan for structuring the essay.

I agree with the view that stars in the entertainment business are usually over paid. This is true whether we are considering stars of film, sport or popular music, and it often seems that the amount of money they are able to earn in a short time cannot possibly be justified by the amount of work they do.

Do not begin the essay with your opinion. It should be expressed when you conclude your introductory paragraph.
niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Mar 20, 2014   #4
I agree with the view that stars in the entertainment business are usually over paid. This is true whether we are considering stars of film, sport or popular music, and it often seems that the amount of money they are able to earn in a short time cannot possibly be justified by the amount of work they do.

This is not an ideal introduction. Don't start your essay by expressing your own opinion. State first your main topic, then support it with your opinion. That's the structure. To be clearer, you need to pay attention to what Dumi has suggested to improve your introductory paragraph.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 21, 2014   #5
Hellooo Friend :)

Do you agree or disagree?

To give responses for this task, you are to take a position, which is neither in total agreement nor total disagreement, but somewhere in between. Then, you should explain why...., And you did it all. However, I didn't see you construct the structure of the essay appropriately. It's better to follow what Dumi and Pahan suggest how you construct the overall essay structure.

majority of the band 8 essays, people have not used the words 'For Example' or 'For Instance'.

...
I think it is not all about 'For Example' or 'For Instance', or simply stated their opinion and gave reasons for that opinion, but it is a huge range, and more of it. When you peruse the IELTS band descriptor more closely ( click: ielts.org/PDF/UOBDs_WritingT2.pdf you will see these: Identifying the question and answers all parts sufficiently, presenting a clear and well-developed position which is maintaned throughout the whole essay, and presenting main ideas which are relevant to the question, extended and supported with evidence/ examples.(Task responses)If you lack in one, then you'll mark in below.

from Cambridge IELTS 7

What if there are 3 ideas or solutions.

Do you mean 3 ideas broken into three bodies of paragraphs?
Well, if you have a question that you don't like at all, then you can write with a 5-paragraph essay. You write one introduction, three bodies, and one conclusion. In the bodies, you will argue more on one side than the other by writing two content paragraphs arguing for and one against. This can help you write more words, but some seems inefficient, by writing too many words. Uppsss.., remember, 40 minutes to finish your essay are a must :D

Look at what Pahan and Dumi suggests you with the structure (a 4-paragraph essay). With this structure, you are easy to develop your paragraph properly, one content paragraph for, and one againts. This is good for coherence and cohesion between sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph, and for which in the five-paragraph structure this is weak.

Hope this helps.

Anyway, I like your writing :)


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