TOPIC: Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
MY ESSAY:
People have argued that what the right age is for the children to start learning a new language. Some would assume the student at primary school should learn a foreign language as they may pick up considerably faster and more accurate pronunciation in early age while it may have negative impacts on the development of a child's mother tongue. From my perspective, I would argue more benefits come from letting the young to speak foreign in their early age.
On the one hand, a child in primary school have better memory on vocabulary and be less self-conscious to speak a language from overseas countries through practices. When they are young, they are trained as a habitual practice to speak with foreigner. It is better for them to overcome fears in the young age. For example, in western society, parents usually teach their young kids some uncharted sports such as ice-skating. Furthermore, due to globalization it goes without saying that speak languages other than their mother tongue is growing extremely important these days.
On the other hand, given that other subjects such as Math or Natural Sciences are considered notably important by school authorities, learning foreign language can waste time than used to study those subjects. Besides, learning another language can interfere with the development of children's mother tongue. For example, student can confuse between grammatical usage and spelling of words of two languages. This could lead to the struggle to use their mother tongue.
To conclude, despite school administrator's preference on subjects and confusion that may be aroused from learning a second language, the benefits of learning new languages still outweigh the drawbacks because as a trend, parents would support their kids to learn foreign languages in early age to give an edge over the elder ones.
@kev2
Hello, your essay is quite good to me but I have some recommendation s to further improve your essay
1. I think your introductory paragraph is a little bit lengthy. You only need to summarize the question so just save the explanation for the body. (look at your second sentence)
2. ... school have has a better memory
3. speak with foreigners
4. speaking languages
5. learning a foreign language can waste thetime than used to ...
Hope my comments can help you
In your intro, u mention the accurate pronunciation and the quick memory, however, in your first body, u does not seem to stick with your initial claim(accurate pronunciation) but rather with overcoming the fear. There's little to none discussion about the quick memory so the whole persuasiveness of this essay is undermined.
@Veranda
how about this intro:
People have argued that what the right age is for the children to start learning a new language. However, deciding on whether kids should start learning in elementary school can be a tough task. From my perspective, I would argue more benefits come from letting the young to speak foreign in their early age
@kev2
I think using only 2 sentences for the first paragraph is enough. Perhaps you can write like: "People have long debated over the suitable age for children to learn a new language/ whether students should learn a new language at primary or secondary school. From my perspective, children can reap the benefit from studying foreign language at an early age.
About your intro, you should avoid repeating the word "argue" and argue over what the right age... is better than "argue that"
