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IELTS WRITING TASK 1 - RADIO AND TV AUDIENCES


ghazali 4 / 6 2  
Jul 27, 2017   #1
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Please give me advices and score
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the percentage of Britons listening radio or watching tv



The line graph of radio and television audiences in UK compares the trend of both in a whole day over the period between October and December 1992. The trend is percentage of people over age of 4 years.

It is obviously clear that most of Britons were watching TV at around 8.00, while from 18.00 to 21.00 majority were listening radio.

Accounting for around 7% at start of day, the percentage of Britons who watched TV remained the same, and at 11.00 it grew for 10 hours to about 16%. The trend reached a peak at night 20.00. At the midnight, number of audiences dramatically dropped. In contrast, although the percentage of radio audiences also remained the same but in lower percentage --just under 4%-- until 6.00, it sharply climbed to next 2 hours and stood at almost 26% which was a peak of trend of radio. Following that, the percentage declined until midnight, regardless on the evening it still been able to inclined at around 4%.




Kaylee - / 9  
Jul 27, 2017   #2
The line graph (...) compares the trend of both -> you shouldn't write like this. It can be " the chart compares and contrasts data on the trend of radio and television audiences in UK"
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Jul 27, 2017   #3
Muhammad, while you did write more than the 150 word requirement of the essay, you did not effectively portray all of the information in the essay. You must also remember that this type of essay must be presented in a full 3 - 5 paragraph format. The most acceptable number of paragraphs is usually 4. All composed of 3-5 sentences each. The sentence requirement is to help you develop your grammar accuracy and presentation, which is a vital part of the scoring process.

You were able to accurately represent the visual representations in the graph, but you did not do an analysis of the graph. How did I know that you did not do a visual analysis? There were certain points during the day, at 6.00 and 13.00 when the viewership of television and the listening audience of the radio overlapped. This means that during these times, the audience share of the two mediums were shared or equal in number.

References to small, but important information like that indicate that you took the time to truly develop the content of your analysis. That means that your summary analysis and report is far more accurate and informative than the others that are presented for scoring. This will result in a higher consideration score for your essay in the end.
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,198 464  
Jul 27, 2017   #4
well done, but you fail to cover what is being asked in IELTS writing criteria. For further information, then you can download and read IELTS band descriptor writing task 1. A good paragraph consists at least three sentences in a row. This is what most IELTS students do when they develop their paragraphs as to reach a score higher in coherence and cohesion. You need to rewrite these parts: " The line graph of radio and television..." and "It is obviously clear that most of Britons...". Also, you are being recommended presenting an overview, meaning that the description of general trends. As you did not have any of that, then your score for Task Achievement is hovering around a 5. When it comes to Grammatical and accuracy, you need to pay particular attention to the basic one, such as tenses in use, run-on sentences, sentence fragment and punctuation. If you cannot even control these, it will cost you a lot.


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