Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Railway transportation will improve traffic congestion and reduce air pollution problem

htc 1 / 2  
Aug 3, 2019   #1

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

This is my first post on the forum. I am looking forward to your comment. Thank you for your time.

In my opinion, the government should implement more resources to construct traffic facilities rather than traffic roads. The benefit of implementing railway traffic not only solve the traffic congestion problem but also improve the environment.

It is an inevitable fact that railway transportation system would shorten the traveling time of the commuters and help to resolve the traffic congestion problem. The traffic congestion problem is a very common phenomenon in different cities especially during the period of citizens traveling to work and students goes to school.

Another benefit of railway transportation is that it will relive the pollution problem. As the air quality will be seriously affected by road traffic. Many cars especially diesel vehicles on the road will definitely soar the level of carbon emission and emerge air pollution issue. In the long run, it would seriously emerge physical health problem such as chronic respiratory diseases, high blood pressure and asthma etc. Railway transportation will certainly improve air pollution problem.

In consideration of railway transportation will improve traffic congestion and air pollution problem. The environment of the city would improve as well. The government is suggested to implement more facilities of railway transportation.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Aug 8, 2019   #2
Hello. Good to see you around! I'll provide you with writing feedback on this essay to help you. If you find this helpful, you can always come back!

Firstly, I find that the first paragraph's last lines need to be revised. You had quite a messy structure here, making your thoughts difficult to comprehend for readers. Try to divide your thoughts into smaller lines instead of chunking everything into one piece.

Furthermore, I find that the lack of examples throughout your essay to be unsuitable for this type of content. Because you're working with thoughts that are ingrained in reality, it would help readers to visualize what precisely would assist them in the future. Once you do this, you'll be able to have a more fruitful output for your work.
OP htc 1 / 2  
Aug 9, 2019   #3
Thank you so much for your comment. I will try to revise it. Big thanks!

Home / Writing Feedback / Railway transportation will improve traffic congestion and reduce air pollution problem