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Raising driving age from 18 to 25.


Most countries allow 18-year-olds to drive a car. Some people say this is a good age to start driving. Other people say that the minimum age to drive a car should be at least 25 years.

Youth or experience when driving?



For many years now, the debate has raged on about whether to raise the driving age from 18 to 25. There are a number of studies that show how susceptible 18 years old drivers are to accidents and many believe that boosting the driving age will keep the roads safer. Each side has valid points to make, so let's take a closer look at the pros and cons of this proposal.

Those proponents of age raising argue that such decision has many benefits.
For instance, it will allow additional exercise for young people. Statistics in USA show that obesity in American youth is at an all time high. If kids cannot simply drive everywhere, they will be forced to walk and ride bicycles, which is great for their long term health. There are many experts who believe that raising the driving age can put a serious dent in the epidemic of youth obesity.

On the other hand, I agree with those who are in the camp of opponents of age upraising who argue that such decision has many drawbacks.

Firstly, it can lead to less socially active teens, Teens who live in urban areas are typically able to get around without the use of a car, but those who live in rural regions may struggle to develop an active social life if they are not mobile. This can lead to a decreased self esteem and a failure to recognize social cues later in life.

Secondly, teens can't run errands. While some parents may worry excessively about their teens when they are on the road, but those who look on the bright side tend to look forward to their kids turning 18. After being forced to play chauffeur for years, the tables finally turn and they can ask their kids to run errands for them.

After looking at the drawbacks of raising the driving age to 25, it is clear that such decision will have negative effect on the long term although what could be seemingly thought of the contrast.

I have minor correction for the end of fifth paragraph.

-- but those who look on the bright side tend to look forward to hope to share (...) kids turning 18 After being forced (...), the tables finally turn and they can ask their kids to can run errands for them.

Hope it helps.

Regards,
Messal
Hey,

Your essay looks really solid to me, I wouldn't change anything except for a light grammar touch:

... when they are on the road, but those who look ...

That's it, the rest of the essay is perfect.

Congrats!
Jan 10, 2017   #4
Ahmed, while you have written a pretty solid essay, I think there is an important part of the prompt requirement that you forgot to represent. You did not acknowledge having your personal point of view in any part of the essay. Please review the prompt requirement. You missed out on representing a significant part of the essay which would definitely lower the task accuracy score for this essay and possibly prevent you from getting a passing score if this had been an actual test. When you are required to present an opinion in the essay, that is to be presented at the end of the opening paragraph and be fully discussed within the 4th paragraph of the essay. At this point, your essay is problematic because, even though you created the proper discussion for the essay, the missing elements are of vital importance to properly representing the prompt requirements. Due to that error on your part, you ended up discussing the essay in the wrong manner and totally presented an essay that is not prompt adherent. I would not expect a passing score for this essay in an actual setting.
Thanks @Holt for the valuable feedback, don't you think it is enough to mention my point of view in the last paragraph, "it is clear that such decision will have negative effect on the long term although what could be seemingly thought of the contrast", and in the third one "On the other hand, I agree with those who are in the camp of opponents of age upraising who argue that such decision has many drawbacks."
Jan 10, 2017   #6
Unfortunately, that is not enough. You see the essay prompt is meant to test your knowledge of current events and / or its influence upon your life. Therefore, you need to discuss it as a totally separate paragraph in the essay. The examiner gives you the chance to prove your English comprehension skills, development of complex sentences, and lexical knowledge of the language by allowing you all opportunities to present your discussion strengths. By simply attaching your opinion to the reasons you provided for the agree or disagree discussions, you are selling yourself short and not allowing yourself to present your English written skills to its fullest potential to the reviewer. For an opinion paragraph, it is always best that you present it as the 4th paragraph in the essay because the weak discussion should be in the second paragraph and the strong discussion, in the third. That paragraph then acts as a supporting paragraph for your opinion so you can manage to just say "I agree with the aforementioned reason for a number of personal reasons. Reasons such as ..." This will then serve to create a strong personal opinion on your part and allow you to further develop the discussion that will prove your analytical English writing skills as well.
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