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Raising a global technology has helped people to work more efficient

Jordansimons 3 / 4  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
Many employees may work at home with the modern technology. Some people claim that it can benefit only the workers, not the employers.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Raising a global technology has helped people to work most, It has created efficiency for the employees to complete their works at home. Some argue that it only becomes a benefit for workforce but not for the employer. This essay totally disagrees with the statement because of the benefit it brings to the workplace.

There are several reasons why raising a high-tech should not be a problem for a company or employer. Primarily, it helps workforce to finish their tasks efficiently. This is mainly because the employee not required to come and spend their time to go to office and gets traffic in the public transportation. While working at home with apps they can finish the task by using their time that usually spent at public transport. For instance, a half of facebook's workforce spent their times in traffic in 2008 and it was affecting working hours to finish the task, a new regulation has been made to create efficient working hours along the period, and the regulations allow facebook's worker to complete their tasks at home by apps and the result, this collaboration creates more benefits related to marketing and sales performance of company.

In addition, High-tech is able to reduce the burden of operational cost. This means, when a company is able to complete the task based on apps , it reduces the cost for operational such as electricity, monthly travel pass, internet, food & beverages, etc. This reduction occurs after a company allows their workers to finish the task at home by utilizing the high-tech.

To conclude, Advanced technology is not a limit or a problem for company, it has become benefits not only for workers but also companies.

Wolf Larsen - / 127 47  
Nov 1, 2016   #2

Most of your sentences need to be rewritten so that they sound better (stylistically) and make more sense. Here are some suggestions:

Raising a [...] [i]The ongoing progress in the domain of global technology made it possible for people to spend their time much more wisely.
Somepeople argue [...]that this mostly benefits employers and not the ordinary workers.
This essay [...] In this essay, I will argue that the mentioned idea does not make much sense.
why raising a high-tech [...] why the rise of hi-tech technologies...
This is mainly [...] The reason for this is that while taking full advantage of technology, employees are able to manage their time much more efficiently.

While working [...] For example, technology makes it possible for people to stay in constant touch with their friends and coworkers, without having to travel to see them in person.

I'm sure you'll be able to fix the rest of the text on your own. Try to make sentences shorter until you get a better hang of English. I hope this will help. Regards.

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