Hello, friends, thank you for watching my essay and I wrote this IELTS writing task in 40 minutes, i think there are some errors, please help me to correct it, I appropriate it.
Topic:
DO you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should be required to help with household task as soon as they are able.
not much duties, just lovely time
The given topic show a statement, that some parents require their children to give a help during the household task since they are old enough. This statement sounds very good! But I would like to say, please stop doing that! I would like to illustrate my opinions as follow.
Courage young generations work into the house cleaning could cause some dangerous incidents, that could not be imaged by their parents in advance. Today, the electricity facilities and devices are easy found in the house such as fridge, dishwasher, air condition and television. All of these require electric power, the young children may be injured by the leaked high voltage during the cleaning process. Moreover, insufficient working protect stuff let the children under dangerous, increased the possible of the children's safety problems.
Another disadvantage is toxin issue. The toxic elements are include in some cleaning products, which are harm for children's eyes, lungs even their skin. As far as I know, many cleaning powder contains high level chemical toxin inside, in order to gain a good cleaning quality. when children are helping their patents by using this products, the toxin must be attached with children and breathed in, thus, cause the children cough and harmfully effect for healthy.
In addition, for the children in this period, healthy growing and happy playing should be the subjects of them. Nobody wants their young children to handle the heavy, dirty and dangerous housekeeping work. Their parents have to supply a lovely and sweet home rather than require them to do this even they are enable.
In conclusion, I suggest all the parents stopping require their sweets to join the household task. Just let them growing healthy and safety. Wish young generations could have a lovely memory with their childhood.The given topic shows a statement, (no need ",") that some parents require their children to give a help during the household task since ( I advise "since" using in the perfect) they are old enough.
Maybe you can say " request their children to do the household task after they have enough ability. "
Above it is my little advice.
Thanks.
