The rate of books read at Burnaby Public Library in a period of four year between 2011 and 2014

The line graph illustrates the rate of books read at Burnaby Public Library in a period of four year between 2011 and 2014, based on both sexes. It is noticeable that the number of book read by men increased over the period while women had a sharp fall in 2013 after reaching a peak.

To begin, women read the books in Burnaby Public Library stood at around 4,200. Subsequently there was a steady rise by roughly 2000 books read in 2013, after hit at 8000 in 2012. The number then declined to about 7,800 books in the end of period.

In contrast, the number of books read by men just around 3,000 in beginning. Afterwards, it experienced a steady grew in one year to 4,000 then increased dramatically by 6,000 books in 2013. In this point, female readers at Burnaby Public Library overtook by men. Whereas the number of books read by women witnessed a slight fall, the rate of books read by men growth considerably to 14,000.

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Work on grammar; in punctuation, subject verb agreement, sentence flow, plurals, etc;

...in a period of four years or in a four-year period...
...based on sex...
...It should be noted that the number of books read over the period increased with men, while it peaked sharply at 2013, then decreased with women...

...To begin with...
...the books women read...
...Subsequently,...
etc.

I hope this helps!

Your first two paragraphs lack the mandatory three sentence minimum requirement for essay paragraphs in formal tests. You need to make sure that you accurately present all of the information in the chart and discuss it in a manner befitting the information you are presenting by using the proper number of sentences to discuss it. the lack of sentences depicts a lack of comprehension skills and could result in a lower test score for you. However, you seem to have an understanding of the chart information. So the probleM lies mainly in your ability to create English sentences in the proper manner. I hope that this is a problem which you will be able to conquer over time through the constant practice tests.

...at THE Burnaby ... in OVER a FOUR YEAR period of four year between..., number of bookS ...

... THE women THAT ... after IT hit at ...

...by men WAS... j a steady grew GROWTH... In AT this point... overtook by THE men...read by men growth GREW...

Your essay basically contains just simple grammar problems that can easily be addressed by constant practice and diligent proof-reading before the submission of the essay for grading.