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IELTS TASK 1; The rate of employed British people based on genders in various working fields in 2005

juliachung 3 / 10  
Mar 14, 2021   #1


The bar chart below shows the employment of all male and female workers by occupation in the UK in the year 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph provides the rate of employed British people based on genders in various working fields in 2005. Overall, men took part mostly in technical and required special training careers, whereas women are more favorable in customer service-related professions and working in office.

For high technical skilled jobs, most of the occupations were dominant by males except for associate professional and technical as women were slightly more than men by 2%. In skilled trades, the figure was different among genders, only 2% of working women compared to 20% of that in men. Similarly, for process, plant and machine operatives, the corresponding proportions were around 2% and more than 12%. In comparison, the percentage of women participated in manager and senior officials as well as professional occupations were less significant, at 11%.

In administrative and secretarial areas, on the other hand, had an outbreak in the number of female workers with 22% which was nearly 5 times greater than that of males. Likewise, sales and customer service and personal service experienced the same difference in the number of genders, since the ratio of women to men in the latter is approximately 7 to 1 and for the former, the percentage were 12% in females and about 5 % in males. Laborers and caterers careers are relatively balanced in gender.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478  
Mar 15, 2021   #2
Did you take into account that you only have 20 minutes to complete this report based on salient information presentations only? Writing 219 words leaves you only 31 words short of the 250 minimum word count for the Task 2 essay. That means writing this task may force you to use some of the Task 2 writing allowance. You do not have to make this report extremely long, just quick and informative. Anywhere between 175-200 words will be sufficient. This is only a task that asks you to prove your ability to restate information in a clear manner. It does not need to be overstated. Keep it short and understandable. That is all this task requires you to do. Due to the length of your essay, you have made more errors in the LR and GRA section than you should have. If you had kept it short, you would have made lesser score deductible mistakes.
OP juliachung 3 / 10  
Mar 15, 2021   #3
Thank you for your advice. I know my essay is too long but I dont know how to cover the entire details but still keep it short. I tried to shorten it but then I was afraid some significant points would be left out. :(

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