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The rate of using internet between urban/suburban regions tended to increase rapidly over time.


Ron Weasley 5 / 15 4  
Aug 6, 2015   #1
Could anyone help me with this writing. This is an IELTS task I have just finished. I am very glad if you can help me. Thank you all ^.^

The graph below shows percentage of urban/suburban and rural households in a European country that had Internet access between 1999 and 2004.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features an make some comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart compares the number of urban/suburban and rural household Internet Access in a European country from 1999 to 2004. In general, the rate of using internet between two regions tended to increase rapidly over time.

The percentage of Internet access in urban and suburban was the highest throughout the period. There was a dramatic increase from 15% in 1999 to just under 50% in 2002. After that, the rate has more slightly risen, with 53% and 55% households had their own Internet approach respectively in 2003 and 2004.

Similarly, the degree of using Internet of each family in rural grew steadily during 1999 to 2002. However, that is a slight growth. From 2003 to 2004, it is easy to see that there were a larger number of people using internet network at home, increased from 27% to 35% in turn.

To conclude, although the percentage of internet access in rural is lower than in urban and suburban, people there have more chance to own the household internet.

(167 words)



lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Aug 6, 2015   #2
I can help you with your essay.

1st paragraph: "Internet access" should be all lowercase letters. The second sentence a word needs to be added, change this to:"...using the internet..."

2nd paragraph: I want to make a suggestion with this first sentence: "The percentage of Internet access in urban and suburban areas was the highest throughout the period. If you use areas you explain what you mean by urban and suburban.

When you begin to describe household internet access you have to state which area you are describing. Ex: In the suburban areas, there was a dramatic increase in internet access, it went from 15% in 1999 to 50% in 2002. Upon looking at the bar graph, I noticed that it is touching 50%. Here is a revision for the next sentence:

"After those years, the rate has more slightly risen, with rose in 2003 and 2004 from 53% to 55%, respectively." If you write your sentence this way, the reader knows that in 2003 there was 53% and in 2004 there was 55%.

3rd paragraph: There are some missing words. The first sentence change to: "...the internet for each family in the rural areas..." The missing words are the and areas. The last sentence place "the" before internet and "this" before increased.

4th paragraph: Place "areas" after rural. The last part of the sentence you want to describe that the graph shows that people were gaining more access to the internet as the years progressed. If you use as the years progressed or over time, the reader will understand that gradual access occurred over those years.
justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Aug 15, 2015   #3
- ..the rate of using internet between two regions tended to increase..
- After that, the rate has more slightly risen,
- with 53% and 55% households had their own...
- ...to see that there werewas a larger number of people
- ...using internet network connection at home,..
- ..people in this areathere have more chance to own the household internet connection.

Good analysis, brief and organized.
The remarks I made is very minor however it is very helpful.


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