reading more profitable than spending time by the screen
Some people think reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that whether the benefits of spending times on books outweigh those of using computers or TV for entertainment. Although the latter has positive effects on children, I believe that distributing more time on reading is better-off to them.
Watching TV and play computers are always attractive because of their various content. On TV, many programs on different topics enable children to choose their most favorite ones. Boys prefer topics about a robot, while girls like to watch programs about cooking. Computer games also provide huge choices such as car racing and gunfight. Besides, TV can deliver knowledge faster than reading, since it can quickly update recent news and broadcasts to everyone around the world.
However, I strongly prefer a child to read in several reasons. First, children spend too much time watching electronic devices, causing the age of serious shortsighted children going down each year. When they grew up, it will even become a serious health issue that may cause them blind. Second, finishing a whole story takes hours, helping the children to develop their brain ability such as memorizing knowledge and interpreting complex information. The early-developed skills help them to outperform people in same ages on the context of career development. According to recent studies, scientists find out that the earlier people read, the greater the possibility of they succeed in work.
In conclusion, I believe that encouraging people in their early ages to read stories helps them to have a well-developed brain status and avoid the dependent on TV or computers.
I think you should focus more on why you agree that reading is better for children. The second paragraph is talking about the advantages of watching TV and playing computer games, but this question is 'to what extent do you agree or disagree' instead of asking you to discuss both sides.
Although the latter has positive ...
-->why computers and TV have positive effects on children? this conclusion is sudden and makes me lost the flow.
Watching TV and playing computers ...
However, I strongly prefer ...
-->I strongly believe that reading is better for children for several reasons. This sentence sounds like you prefer a child and that's weird. Also, you use a child in this sentence while children in the next.
... causing the age of serious ...
-->the age of having serious shortsighted goes down year by year.
scientists find out that the earlier people start to read, the greater the possibility of they succeed in on work.