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[IELTS Writing] Writing, reading and maths are the three major subjects

daiha20082009 6 / 9  
Sep 11, 2017   #1

computer skills as a mandatory subject

Writing, reading, and maths are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In the recent competitive market, to apply for a vacancy and to get a high salary, computer skills are considered to be one of the most vital keys in conjunction with writing, reading and maths to lead to success in one's career. As a consequence, computer skills should be emphasized at schools as well as universities as a compulsory subject. This viewpoint has my support.

To commence with, computers skills are the core element for every individual who wishes to enter the workplace. It is undeniable that every task of most of the professions requires computer skills from typing to gathering information on the internet. For instance, the marketers need to utilize every source on the internet to seek their customers and to distribute customer-group segmentation. Without computer skills, all the tasks cannot be done in the nick of time and all the related duties, hence, will stagnate.

Not only are computer skills a demand for all employees, but it is also compulsory for those who have an intention of pursuing higher education. As an educational environment has undergone significant changes over the past decades, all the lectures at the university are no longer textbooks and paper assignments. Instead of that, most of the lectures are performed by PowerPoint and students finish their assignments by software such as Word, Excel. In other word, students also need to get access to online materials as fundamental data for their researches due to online journals. In all likelihood, computer skill really plays a key role in stimulating and boosting one's study.

In conclusion, it is essential that computer skills be included in school and university's curriculum for all the benefits to people. It is also crucial for those who intend to enter the modern workplace and the undergraduate to be equipped with.

(298 words)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478  
Sep 11, 2017   #2
Khoa, your line of reasoning in the body paragraphs are highly applicable to the discussion. The problem, is that your paraphrasing is not aligned with the original prompt. You should have used the "emotional" consideration in line with the "extent" discussion. This means, you need to use a descriptive word to accompany your agreement with the subject. You have to do that because this is an "extent" essay discussion. You also need to understand that if you do not use the information located in the prompt discussion, your opening paragraph will create an unrelated discussion. You must only represent the original prompt discussion and outline in your paraphrase. Just as in the conclusion, you cannot present reasons for your discussion in the opening paragraph. Therefore, your essay will have immediately lost a significant scoring consideration in the task accuracy portion. The proper opening paraphrase should be:

The three core subjects taught in school these days are writing, reading, and math. While these subjects are truly important in the basic education of a child, there is a point of view that a 4th notable subject must be included in the curriculum. The 4th subject spoken of in this instance is the computer skills subject. I strongly agree that computer skills should be added as the 4th important subject being taught in school. In this essay, I will be presenting a number of reasons that help to support my opinion regarding this discussion topic.

With the correct prompt representation, your score increases immediately. Once you make a mistake in the opening paraphrase, your score is immediately lowered as well. English comprehension skills as represented in the opening paraphrase is one of the most important considerations towards your final score so make sure you get that part right the first time every time.

Your conclusion is also faulty because it does not accurately represent the previous discussion presented. It continues to discuss the wrong prompt requirement as you presented it in the opening statement. That will cost you an even lower TA score in the end.

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