and so on with each other and so on
What? This presentation does not connect well with the previous presentations. Avoid vague references since the letter calls for precise descriptions.
Wrong time reference. The instruction asks for future plans. These are yet to happen so the past reference, as in, activities already done and completed cannot be used.
Divide the activities by day and paragraphs.That way a more thorough idea presentation can be completed based on a daily activity focus. Luch a format can use a more active voice and allow the writer to inject more excitement to the future plans.
The writer should be sharing the letter with the friend who will be involved in the activity. Instead the writer is asking for an opinion The writer is using the incorrect letter format.