Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign languages is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
multi-language not merely for travel or work
Nowadays, more and more people are concerning the main reason for learning languages. Some people believe that traveled use or worked necessary is the only reason while others hold different notions. I personally believe that there are other reasons lead to learn foreign languages.
It is indisputable fact that language is the crucial thing for living aboard. However, I would argue that the second or third language cannot be used for each countries. For example, English is a major option of second language because of its common use, but some countries still tend to speak in their native languages. Germany, France, Spain are the most popular countries for traveling, but local citizen prefer to speak in German, French and Spanish in their daily. Nonetheless, it is unlikely that we learn each language before traveling different countries. Recently, people try to communicate with body language, which break the necessary of learning numerous languages. Therefore, language different is not the main problem in a tour.
Further and more important, though, speaking foreign languages is more easily to find local job. There is a considerable contribution - charity. People learn foreign language for being volunteers in worldwide. They accept language class and relative training before going to developing countries. Unequal distribution of resources lead to detrimental environment of education, incomplete sanitary faculties and lack of self-sufficient ability. In order to help them, volunteers use local dialect to guide local people to improve their life. Learning local language not only express clearly but also establish trust with local people. Therefore, Learning language also can be a measure of helping people who lives in remote area.
By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position, I believe that learning multi-language not merely for travel or work, it can care the people who need our help.
Hello Sandra. Here are some points that might be helpful.
I think you have trouble using the right word forms. For example:
traveled use or worked necessary,languages is more easily to find...
Your main paragraphs didn't discuss the prompt. In fact, I find your first paragraph unrelated.
In the second one, you are supposed to discuss other reasons but the purpose of the whole paragraph is not clear since you changed it from the middle.
Finally, you didn't discuss your ideas as the prompt asked you to do.
My suggestion is to focus on understanding prompts and what they are asking.
Here are some corrections,
people are concerned
cannot be used in each country
local citizen prefers to speak
languages is more easy
language from being
sanitary facilities (I think you meant facilities)
it can care the people who need our help (this sentence is a bit vague, I didn't quite understand what you meant)
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,696 3501
Sandra, you just failed the test because of your improper representation of the prompt requirements in the opening statement. The way you presented it is incorrect as you chose the wrong tense usage (past tense) to represent what should have been present tense references. Aside from that, you made an inaccurate portrayal of the discussion instructions. Refer to the following correct prompt paraphrase as a sample:
There are those who believe that learning a second language is required these days for a number of reasons. One of these reasons being that it is useful when one goes abroad as a tourist or as a worker. Others believe that other reasons also exist for a person to develop knowledge of a second language. In this essay, I will discuss both points of views while offering my own opinion regarding the discussion.
Since you discussed your personal opinion alone in the essay and you did not even give an inkling of the public opinion regarding the topic, as implied by the prompt, you turned this into a singular voice, instead of dual voice essay. There should have been a discussion of the two public opinions before you discussed your own opinion. Due to your failure to follow the discussion instructions, your essay will fail the TA portion and in the process, fail the whole test.
You have shown an inability to understand and follow English instructions, which is a pivotal part of the scoring and a major consideration as to whether or not you are capable of working in an English based educational system. It is clear that you are not yet ready for that based upon the mistake you made in writing this essay.
As @Holt said, you did not paraphrase the prompt properly in your opening statement. An inappropriate paraphrase would impress the examiner that you failed to understand the prompt. As a consequence, your TA score would lower than it should have been.
I'd like to give you another example:
Some people say there is no reason, other than traveling or working abroad, to learn a second language. This is not the case in the belief of others. In this essay...
no...other than = only
in a foreign country = abroad/oversea
foreign language = second language, a language that is not the native language of the speaker
Actually, I'm not clear with the difference between " do you agree or disagree " and " discuss both and give your opinion".
If the prompt were changed to " do you agree or disagree " , could I get the score? Or still unrelated?
Please help me to clarify the difference between each type of prompt in IELTS test.
My next text is becoming, I'm worry about my writing test...
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,696 3501
Sandra, the difference between the two types of prompts are really easy to spot. For "do you agree or disagree?" that is as simple as presenting a yes or no and answer then explaining why you said yes or no. Yes OR no. One or the other. You do not discuss both in the essay. As for the "Discuss both views and give your opinion", the best way to explain it is through the following format:
1. State reason 1. Provide a justification. Give an example. Transition into the next paragraph.
2. State reason 2. Give the popular belief behind it. Use an example. Transition into your personal opinion.
3. State your personal opinion. Discuss as per the elements of the first 2 paragraphs. Your personal opinion should be singular in presentation and be convincing to a clear degree.
Like I said, the prompt state you wrote was wrong. It does not apply to either of the two prompt types you asked me about. Your presentation was that of a single opinion essay. That is not what either of the prompts you asked me explain was all about. So no, the score will not change for you even if we change the prompt because the prompts you supplied were not in line with the discussion you chose to present.
Hi hlim, besides the errors of misunderstanding the topic, I would like to point out that the conclusion at the end is a wrap-up section of all of the points that you have developed in your essay, therefore, all the main points should be mentioned in that section when you write your next essay.
Hope that helps.