The reason and motivation of commited crime should be considered to decide on the punishment

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be always taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

In all parts of the world, the criminal matter is the problem making the controversy topic for people around the world. Some people think that the fixed punishments for all crimes are the must. However, I believe that the reason and motivation of crime that is done by people should be considered to decide on the punishment.

Fixed punishment for certain crime is very helpful for the small level of criminal. It can be a brilliant idea for the nations which have the high-criminality rates. In Indonesia, for instance, all cases have to be decided in the court, from the light level to the high level, so that sometimes, the court is too hard to be decided. This idea can reduce the problem of the court and the court's overload can be reduced.

However, including the reason and the fact of the cases is more important. Each people have the presumption of innocence. How about the person having murdered the criminal sneaking to the house and threatening the family's life? If we are thinking that fixed punishment is better, then we will punish the person murdered. But how about the principle of fairness? is it fair for them? No. The facts in the field and the circumstances should be included in order to give the equality of law for all of the people.

All in all, I believe that before we decided the person is guilty or not, we should involve the facts and the motivation why the people did. Although fixed punishment is a good idea, it will be better to provide the equality of law to all of the people around the world.

(275 Words)

Ivan, you are supposed to accurately discuss both sides of the issue prior to presenting your opinion on the matter. That doesn't seem to be what happened in your essay. It seems that you decided to immediately defend your opinion on the topic. I realize that you did not provide the complete prompt to us for reference but thanks to the others who wrote this prompt before you, I already know what to expect in terms of the discussion you are instructed to present. Due to the mistake in your presentation, the essay no longer follows the instructions and therefore, does not properly respond to the prompt requirements. So this essay will not score well in the actual test. Please remember to refer to the prompt as you develop your essay so that you can be sure that you are following and providing the complete requirements in your essay response.

Hi Mr Ivan, these are my correction toward your essay

1. making the controversy topic for people around the world
[ i think it will be better if you use its adjective and write ' the controversial topic' instead ]
2. ...the court is too hard to be decided...
[ the court is hard to decide (the punishment) ]

suggestion :
1. in your first body paragraph, you should give the example(s) for "small level criminal" to make it more clear.
2. i think you should read and understand the topic and in this kind of essay, you should explain both opinion instead of yours.
goodluck