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There is no reason why people should try to prevent extinction of animal species. Do you agree?

Thuy Tran 07 2 / 4  
Jul 24, 2022   #1
Please help me with this essay. Thank you

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (eg. dinosaurs, dodos, ...). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.

Do you agree or disagree?

A sizable number of people adopt the view that the extinction of certain species namely dinosaurs is ineluctable due to unexpected natural events, so there is no point interfering in this process. Personally, I totally disagree with this point of view because apart from natural causes, I strongly believe that human causes are unequivocal.

On the one hand, it is true that a host of primitive animals such as dinosaurs and dodo ceased to exist owing to natural calamities, but it is not to say that man-made disasters are negligible. For instance, Panda experiences a population crash every year because of over poaching, thus it is now on the red list of endangered animals. In addition, thousands of acres of land are cleared to make room for human's agricultural and industrial practices. Therefore, natural habitats are severely destroyed and native species have no place to live and reproduce. As a result, as impactful as the natural catastrophe may sound, human-induced disasters are of great significance.

On the other hand, in case human practices are not the main culprit, it is highly important to spare wildlife creatures from dying out. This is because the majority of natural species are linked closely by food chain, the extinction of one kind of species may put an end to the survival of its predator, thereby sabotaging the balance of the ecosystem. Moreover, there are a few species whose genes are quite rare in the wild. The disappearance of these is synonymous with the fact that genetic materials for scientific experiments catering to human's medicinal purposes will be lost permanently, which impedes medical development.

In conclusion, human activities are the drivers pushing some kind of species to the verge of extinction. Even if these are not the chief causes, the medical and ecological merits of wildlife creatures are really noteworthy for human's life. Because of that I think it's about time taking actions to protect animals for our own sake.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4247  
Jul 25, 2022   #2
Okay, the writer is obviously trying to gain a higher LR score in this essay by using advanced English words. This is a problem because the examiner is not looking for advanced English words, that often result in incorrect usage. What he is looking for is how the writer can express himself clearly using everyday English words. So words like "ineluctable" and "unequivocal" have no place in the task 2 presentation. There is a simple grammar rule in this test when it comes to word usage. Keep it simple. The LR score is not as score improving as most exam takers mistakenly believe it to be. The score increase comes from the other aspects such as C+C and GRA.

Why is the writer using an extinct animal, the dinosaur in his opening statement? That animal went extinct long before human beings came into existence. He should have used some other example instead. By using the wrong example, the examiner will think that the exam taker cannot analyze information and can only write in memorized phrases.

Scores will be reduced overall because of the incorrect discussion format. Rather than proving his opinion over 2 reasoning paragraphs, he instead compared discussion points. Points that are not covered by the original discussion and therefore, initiated a prompt discussion deviation. A mistake that will result in a failing score for the essay.

Home / Writing Feedback / There is no reason why people should try to prevent extinction of animal species. Do you agree?