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There is no reason to show some special attitude toward people based on their age

DmitryB 3 / 3  
Sep 14, 2016   #1
IELTS Writing Task 2

In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society?

Some people believe that due to the rapid changes occurring in the modern world, it is not necessary to show respect to older people. Contrary to the past times, when the older persons were given highest priority and respect in the society, nowadays, in many countries older people are treated rudely and they are not getting the deserved attention and respect. For now, whether this trend is progressive or regressive, the reason why this happening are found to be numerous.

From my point of view, with the advancement of technology and humans' busy life there is a huge change in people's culture and human relationships. The human life has become more technologically dependent, mechanical and stressful. We are not have enough time to spend with our parents or grandparents who are getting older with time. This loss of communication has adverse effect on human relations. This situation makes the mental distance between generations even longer.

But older people are the base and backbone of the country. Most of them are full of experience and knowledge. They are the proofs and live evidence of all the changes going on in the society. Unfortunately, young people of present generation have the opinion that old people are clumsy and old-fashioned, and they are not much useful in this highly developed world, which is a completely wrong way of thinking.

In conclusion, there is no reason to show some special attitude to the person based on their age. This is just the number of the years that a person lived. However, being respectful to all people around you by default is completely the foundation of our society and essential condition of further sustainable development.

(281 words)
Asma Raj 6 / 10  
Sep 15, 2016   #2
Hello @DmitryB,
I would like to give some corrections in your Essay.

1. the older personspeople
Explanation: "person" is singular and to change it being plural is no need to add 's' but the plural form of person is "people.

2. the highest priority ...

3. ... the mental distance betweenamong generations even longer.
Explanation: If we use "between", it should be followed "and". For example, ... between ... and ...
arisandy14 7 / 11 1  
Sep 15, 2016   #3
hello, I would like donate my thought about your work.

the first, I concern that your grammar applied in this essay is inconsistent. Because you mix the tenses between past time and present time. it will probably be better if you use grammar consistently. For example, "This is just the number of the years that a person lived" or "We are not have enough time", it is perhaps wrong tenses. Furthermore, you can change "we do not have".

the other problem, in my opinion, is "But older people are the base and ...". it is better that we dont use "But" in the beginning of sentence, so we can change to be "however or morever".


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