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What are the reasons for bigger wage for celebrities than politicians? Evaluate this development.

keithkwan14 3 / 5 1  
Jul 20, 2020   #1

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians

What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

With the rapid development of Internet, lifestyle of entertainment stars is now profoundly shaping the preference and interest of general public. Commercial brands now tend to invest on these celebrities which make these celebrities gain more income than politicians. I do believe this is a negative trend for the society. Two of the principal reasons are explained as follows.

Firstly, politicians are usually with higher education background and reputation. On the contrary, there is a relatively lower requirement for singers or actors. If a celebrity who is not even college-graduated can earn more than a well-educated politician, it definitely spreads a wrong message to the youngsters that studying is not necessarily the key to success. The fact can be proved by the increasing number of teenagers giving up university study to join singing contest, which also reflects their tendency to take shortcut to be famous and rich, instead of equipping themselves with knowledge.

Further and more importantly, celebrities getting too much economic power can be a threat to our political development. For instance, current US President Donald Trump was once a renowned host of TV show. Taking advantage of his popularity, he became the most powerful man in the Status for the past years. However, the way he leads the country is widely criticized due to the lack of political mindset and knowledge. So I believe these important role should be reserved for well trained politicians.

In conclusion, income earned by politicians should remain high enough to encourage capable candidates to contribute and improve the society. It is undoubtedly a negative trend to have entertainment stars takeover the superior status of politicians in our community.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,719 3062  
Jul 20, 2020   #2
FYI, Pres. Donald Trump is a graduate of the Wharton School of Business. He is not just a celebrity. Before he became a celebrity, He was a military school graduate, and a college graduate. As a professional, he was a hugely successful businessman who led the Trump Organization for decades until he divested himself in favor of his children. He dealt with politicians and celebrities as a real estate mogul long before he became a TV host. So he is not the right person to use as an example in this instance. He has political knowledge and a politician's mindset, it is just not of the common political kind.

Your opening paraphrase does not reflect the original prompt. You used information that does not exist in the original presentation. It need to stick to the original topic representation. You could have said:

Superstars have a greater earning power than politicians these days. The reason for the reverse in income for these 2 occupations are caused by (present 2 connected reasons). Thinking about these reasons, I am convinced that this trend should be seen as a negative occurrence.

Your second reasoning paragraph totally disconnects from the given discussion instruction. The focus on Donald Trump doesn't make sense. He was already rich before he became a celebrity. Your opinion in that paragraph does not connect to the reason why celebrities earn more than politicians or vice versa. Always double check the original prompt against your draft discussion. Make sure you stay on track, do not deviate, you will receive points deductions for that in the TA and word count section. If your essay, without the irrelevant paragraph falls under the minimum word count, your essay score will be in trouble in the end.
thanhnhannnnn 1 / 3  
Jul 20, 2020   #3
Personally, I think your topic sentence for the second paragraph doesn't give a clear overview: Firstly, politicians are usually with higher education background and reputation. Since main idea in this paragraph is that the injustice in recognizing politicians who gain higher education of the public will lead to false perceptions among young people, it's better to integrate 3 first sentences together.

Moreover, as there are two questions in the task, I think you should answer both of them. I see that, in your essay, you just explained negative effects, and mentioned the 1st question (what....) in just one sentence.

I hope these things can be useful for you.

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