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Essay about reasons and keys to recent situations of local attractions

nhuquynh20 1 / -  
Jul 5, 2020   #1

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not by local people.

Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

It is undeniable that the local people tend to travel internationally or nationally, they barely choose their local attractions to explore. This phenomenon is supposed to result from several reasons. To tackle this matter, solutions should be applied to change the situation in a positive way.

To begin with, the main cause originated in lacking of knowledge. The local people don't comprehend about their region history leading to unaware of the importance of attractions. They seem to amuse visiting places overseas or famous monuments that promoted on the Internet. They prefer traveling to strange places to visiting in their town, despite without knowledge about local places.

To address this, the government needs to encourage people to acquire local understanding as educating in school as well as organize knowledge competitions locally. The second key to deal with is that the government gives more incentives for local people to visit local attractions. For example, Ba Đen mountain is one of the most sacred places that lots of both international and national visitors. In recently, the government has promoted to local people by making discount for the people having local identification, I think it is considered to be an ingenious advertisement campaign.

In conclusion, the best way to increase the number of tourists evenly in local places by making sure that both sides have equal benefits. Not only the promotion and encouragement from local will help the town 's famous sights become well-known but also the tourism and economy will thrive.
naufal abiyyu 4 / 6 3  
Jul 5, 2020   #2
In my opinion in the introduction paragraph (paragraph 1) you should mention the ideas about the cause of the problem and the solution, then develop it in the following paragraph. Here is my own version for the first paragraph:

... tend to travel abroad than choose their local attractions to explore. While it is more acceptable due to the lack of information about local destinations, I believe the role of the government is certainly needed to promote their local tourism in order to increase the appeal of the community.
ravatrav 3 / 8 4  
Jul 6, 2020   #3
Hi. You might want to reorganize your introduction paragraph to include also the general overview of the problem and solution, perhaps something like :

"... be caused by several reasons such as (you can fill the reason(s) here). ... problem can be easily tackled by (here's the big picture of your solution(s))"

... main cause originated in lacking of knowledge --> originates from the lack of knowledge.
Since your main cause is due to the lack of knowledge of the locals, i think you should focus on developing this idea such as elaborating why do the locals have a only a minimum knowledge rather than jumping to a promotion reason. This also applies to the solution paragraph. Rather than writing about incentives and also the examples that i think is unrelated to your problem at all (because your example is more on a promotion (again) rather than knowledge broadening (which is your main reason)), why not provide an explanation on the effect of your solutions on the locals instead.

A tip to be on the safer side, provide a solution and example related only to the cause you presented to keep it coherence.

Hopefully this can somehow helps you. Cheers :)
Elsa 4 / 7 3  
Jul 6, 2020   #4
- Please be more aware of the number of words, do not write less than 250 words.
- BP 1: You need to support your explanation with the relevant example, and this will help you to write a little more than 250 words.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,552 3449  
Jul 6, 2020   #5
Your second and third paragraphs need more development. The second paragraph should focus on the reason why people from the country do not visit their own tourist destinations. You should not refer to the international tourists in that section. Just explain the reason why the locals don't go to that place. For clarity, use a specific example from your personal knowledge. That helps clarify your point in the paragraph.

The third paragraph, uses too many reasons without any solid justification. Just use one suggest solution. Fully explain your reason for this suggestion. Indicate what you base your suggestion on (example). Then support the example with information about how the local tourists came and helped the area become more popular among the citizens of the country.

Expanding on your explanations should help you better meet the word count and also, allow you to deliver completely developed paragraphs.

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