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Reasons why people commute to work by bicycle or by car - WRITTING

thanhma07 1 / 1  
May 29, 2020   #1

The choice of cycling vs driving to work

Two charts below illustrate 5 different reasons why people commute to work by bicycle or by car.
Overall, there are two main reasons for people who prefer traveling to work by bicycle are fitness and less pollution. On the other hand, those who choose to go to work by car because of the comfort as well as distance to office.

Health and cause less contamination for environment are two big reasons for those who decide to go to office by cycling ( 30% equally ). Overmore, it seem that cycling faster than driving and without using fuels are personal reasons for cycling which account for 13% and 12% respectively. Finally, 15% people say that they did not have parking problems as they use bycicle.

On the other hand, the most amount of people who choose to driving to work is because of comfort which take 40%. The same thing, distance to office is second reason for those who drive to work ( 21%). The remaining percentages are people who think driving faster than cycling and those who need to carry things to work ( 14% respectively). lastly, 11% people think that driving is safer than cycling

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,531 3447  
May 29, 2020   #2
You need uniformity in the way that you present your information to the reader. I do not advise the over usage of parenthesis in the Task 1 essay. A parenthesis often signifies an optional piece of information. However, you are not offering optional information. You are offering factual data from the pie chart in reference to specific data targets in the pie chart. Hence, the need to remove the information from the parenthesis and instead, offer it as vital information directly from the image presentation.

You have a little problem in term of clarity in the presentation. Some problem areas are:

Health and cause less contamination for THE environment...
Overmore, it seem that cycling - Furthermore...seemS...

These are but a few grammatical problems in your essay. You also misspelled bicycle once in this presentation.

Going back to the summary overview. You forgot to completely identify the image. You have to specify that you are reviewing 2 pie charts. Not just charts. Charts are a generic reference for the image. You need to be specific in the presentation because you are filing a report to a person who may not have a copy of the image. Additionally, you also forgot to indicate the measurement type used for both charts. The rundown of the pie chart divisions were well done in your discussion paragraphs. Since there are 2 images with different target points, you did well in listing these clearly in the presentation paragraphs.

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