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What are the reasons for the rise in obesity? How could it be tackle?

Tranthitragiang 1 / -  
Oct 28, 2022   #1

the problem of obesity

In today's world, it is undeniable that obese disease becomes more and more popular with many people globally. This essay will explore the sources of this issue along with some possible solutions to it.

Chief among the causes of this problem is the lack of exercise. Today's young people are more prone to glue eyes to social media, games and types of movies in leisure time instead of joining sport activities. This can be a contribution to having a sedentary life and the redundant fat or calories which can not be burned in the body. Perhaps the most effective method would be for each individual to establish a timeline for playing sports, which would assist people maintain a healthy lifestyle and have a beautiful figure.

Another contributing factor is the unbalanced diet of the majority of young people these days. That is to say, most of them ordinarily have an excess of fat and sugary food, which can be a precursor for superfluous calories in the body and gaining weight. One possible approach would be for the government to restrict the production of fast food and encourage people supplementing more fiber-rich things in daily meals.

In conclusion, obesity has become a prevalent disease in many countries due to evident reasons such as the lack of exercise and the inconsequential diet. This problem is potentially more serious if people can put the effective methods into practice. I believe that significant efforts from each person and the government are necessary to reverse the trend.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,410 4391  
Oct 29, 2022   #2
When reading the restatement and writer's opinion, the examiner will see that the writer does not fully grasp the word meaning being used in the original. He will lower the LR score for the paragraph because the disease is obesity while the person suffering from the illness is known as obese. There is clear incorrect word usage in the presentation that affected the effectivity of the restatement.

As for the writer's opinion, which is part of the base scoring, there is none presented so the writer will receive a failing score for that consideration. The examiner does not need to know what the discussion instructions are. He already knows those. What he needs to know, is the opinion of the writer in relation to the questions being asked. If this were an academic paper, it would fail for not clearly stating the thesis or basis of the discussion. Where are the reasons? The questions have already been asked. Respond in 2 sentences. One for every question as a part of the prompt restatement. Create the discussion points based on the questions provided by giving answers, rather than just repeating the questions.

Do not say something is "undeniable" when it is not part of the original discussion topic nor when it is not asked in the prompt. That is a change in the slant of the discussion that resulted in a topic deviant restatement. It will result in additional point deductions in the TA score since the writer is not correctly restating the given topic.

The opening paragraph alone already assures this essay of starting with a preliminary failing score. That is a problem when the essay is very short and limited in writing skills presentation. This essay should be at least 275 words so that the examiner can have more room to judge the rest of the scoring rubic for application.

Good work on the discussion paragraphs. The blended cause and solution presentation is exactly what the discussion format requires. However, the same cannot be said for the concluding summary as it mistakenly indicates a confusing sentence:

This problem is potentially more serious if people can put the effective methods into practice.

The correct term is "cannot" instead of "can". The reference should be that of an inability to successfully implement a solution.

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