Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


Reasons why not settle down in another planet


tueminh 1 / -  
Dec 29, 2020   #1

Looking for a new planet to settle



It is obvious that finding a new place to sustain people on Earth has always been a hotly-debated issue. Some people believe that a way to tackle this problem is to find a replaceable planet to live on. From my point of view, this solution is not practical and resources must be used cleverly.

First, let us take a look at the reasons why Earth become inhabitable. One of the major problem is the overexploitation of natural resources. For instance, as the demands for energy are expanded, many factories extract the fossil fuels, such as oil, coal and gas heavily, which has a negative impact on the environment. Another consideration is that humans are intensively destroying the oceans. Each year, human being dumps tons of garbage into the sea, destroying the aquatic life and, at the same time, contaminating the drink water.

It seems like moving to another planet can solve this problem, however, I believe that reserch on fiding it would be a waste of resouces. First, there is no guarantee that scientists will find a suitable planet in one day. Though our astronomy is thriving remarkably, it is still a question whether a planet that similar to Earth is existed. Secondly, resources should be used to enhance environmentally-friendly technologies or improve health services. People are treating Earth in a wrong way but it may took at least millions of years to be completely destroyed. Until that day comes, humans must concentrate on preserving the Earth. To take a simple example, developments on machines that effectively renewable energy should be considere.

To sum up, I believe research on a new planet to settle is a waste of time and money, and resources should be to used to sustain lives here on Earth.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Dec 30, 2020   #2
You are making unverified claims in your opening sentence that do not comply with the original prompt statement. There is nothing "obvious" about finding new planet to house humans. Nor is this a "hotly debated issue". Such unsupported claims, meaning the original prompt does not refer to such statements, means you have exaggerated your presentation by giving an opinion when it was not required in the response statement. As you forgot to place the original prompt with your response, I cannot verify the appropriateness of your response in comparison to the actual discussion requirement. Kindly post the full prompt next time along with your essay.

Your discussion paragraph rely too much on word fillers and less on actual analytical representation of your discussion. Always start with the topic sentence instead of a 2 sentence introduction. That does not help to present a clear discussion pattern in your presentation. Your reasoning presentations are not fully explained nor supported with additional data based on personal knowledge or public opinion. Both reasons would have increased your C&C score.

The conclusion is less than the required 40 words. There is no clear summary of the presentation. Only a reference to a personal opinion, which created an open ended essay. There is no proper conclusion summary presented, which will have an effect on your TA score in a negative manner.


Home / Writing Feedback / Reasons why not settle down in another planet
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳