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IELTS task 1 - Reasons for study and the amount of employer support.

yennhihoang2712 2 / -  
Feb 10, 2017   #1

The aim of study and a help from employer

The first given chart demonstrates the variation with age in two prominent study reasons namely career and interest while the second shows how much the amount of employer support affect their students.

Overall, a steady decrease of the career reason is revealed in the first graph. The survey found that 80% of under 26 years olds strongly focus on their future professions. It seems that the older people are, the more experience they gain and the less they are impacted by the career purposes. This figure, therefore, continuously declines and there is only 18% of people over 49 study for career as young generations.

In contrast, the interest reason increases stably with age. Only 10% of students under 26 assert interest as their main reason to study. Nevertheless, the percentage incessantly increases up to 40% when people reach at the age of 40 and surprisingly rocket by 70% in their late adulthood.

As for the employer support, the second graph shows noticeable differences in receiving employers' support among five groups. Approximately 60% of under 26 years olds, which is also the maximum rate, are assisted with time and fees by their employers. This rate gradually drops to 32% when people are 30-39 years old before rise up to about 44% in the late adulthood.

ainunazwaria 10 / 18 5  
Feb 10, 2017   #2
Hai @yennhihoang2712

I have several comments about your writing task 1.

In overall, you should not mention the clear data (in this case are number or percentage). You are only allowed to compare and contrast the trend in general statement. (I assume that your second paragraph is your overall). Because there are two charts, then you must mention the two charts into an overall precisely and properly.

I hope it can be useful! Thanks.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Feb 10, 2017   #3
Hoang, I think you have misinterpret the meaning of 'overview' sentence. If you take a closer look on the IELTS public writing band descriptors, you will see that you are not supposed to give the details (percentage) in an overview sentence. An overview sentence should only describes the general trend of the given chart. For instance, it is better for you to write the first sentence without mentioning further about the percentage. Also, it will be much better if you combine the first sentence and the overview. You need to remember that a strong paragraph consists of at least three sentences and not less than that.

The good thing is that your grammatical range and accuracy looks fine. I only see a minor flaws regarding to the use of gerund, singular-plural, or subject-verb agreement. It is fortunate that the mistakes that you make do not disturb either the clarity or the meaning. Thus, it is more likely that you will get an acceptable score for this part.

Hope this helps :)

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