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Recent studies report that the level of people's stress and obesity increased in the last decades.


faizahadina 2 / 2  
Sep 16, 2016   #1
EILTS Summary 1 - Uses of Leisure Time

Recent studies report that the level of people's stress and obesity increase than last decades. It reveals that most people do not wisely use their pastime to rejuvenate their body and mind. Usually, going to the natural environment is likely a good idea to recharge our energy after hectic work schedule in the big city.

In addition, scholars keenly agree to spend the holiday in the country will help increasing concentration, stabilizing emotions as well as impulses. Especially for the children, that can help to cut the level of street and obesity, both are caused lack of mingling with people around. The government is aware to overcome such crucial problem. Therefore, they have created interested programs to actively engage children with natural surroundings.

It could be concluded that people living in the big city might have unstable emotion and life under pressure. Thus, they are required to realize the importance of spending vacation time days in the natural environment.

note: please kindly to comment followed by clear explanation. Thank you

ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Sep 16, 2016   #2
hai faizah
it is a good summary but please give chance to examine your essay
you use uncommon words, I think don't use it too muchI think it is your arrange of vocabulary is good enough
RecentNowadays, studies report that ...
It reveals that the most people do not wisely ...

In addition, scholars keenlyare agree to spend the ...
... that can help to cut the level of streetI think it is "stress" just like you mention it before and obesity, both are caused ...

Therefore, they havehadcreated interested programs to actively ...

It could be concluded, that people livinglives in the big city might have unstable emotion and life under pressure. ... importance of spending vacation time days in the natural environment.
paij1830 - / 1  
Sep 17, 2016   #3
(dream begins with one inch a head) EILTS - Summary 2 Uses of Leisure Time

Recent studies report ...
Terminal23 6 / 10  
Sep 17, 2016   #4
Recent studies report that the level of people's stress and obesity ...

... spend the holiday in the country that it will helps for increasing concentration...
Therefore, they have createdto state interested programs to actively ...
It could be concluded that people livinglife in the big city might have unstable ...
Thus, they arewere required to realize the importance ...
madmoiselle 21 / 33 5  
Sep 17, 2016   #5
Hi Piaj, I just give you a suggestion that for IELTS task 2 you should write at least 250 words, and you can divide it into 4 paragraphs.

-Introduction 1
-Body 2
-Conclusion 1
And don't forget to write the questions first, so people can examine your essay easier :)
Ifan21 22 / 24 2  
Sep 17, 2016   #6
Hey Paij1830
your have briefly summarized the essay and it's great :
here some corrections for you :

... stress and obesity increase than (than has to be superlative, hence it better to say "compare to" ) last decades.
... people do not wisely use (common word instead of use it's appropriately changed into "utilize" ) their pastime to rejuvenate ...
... natural environment is likely (sounds little bit awkward, i prefer say such as or kind of ) a good idea to recharge our ...

... spend the holiday in the country will help increasing concentration (utilize the appropriate conjunction), stabilizing emotions ...
... to cut the level of street (stress ) and obesity, both are caused lack of mingling with people around (it is passive voice so it's change the meaning "both of them caused lack of mingling with people around" ).

Thus, they are required (it is passive voice, change it into "they required to realize" )to realize the importance of ...

you have to concern about grammar, how to use the passive voice, try to make the correlation for every each paragraph, so I wish you good luck Paij


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