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In the recent years, children behavioural problems have dramatically propelled.


Theodore 4 / 7 2  
May 8, 2016   #1
In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour.

In the recent years, children behavioural problems have dramatically propelled. These issues have caused schools and teachers a great deal of stress in suppressing these wanted behaviours.

In today's society, many parents have to work long hours to sustain the survivability of their households. As a result, their children are left in the care of an outsider, usually a babysitter. Some many even placed their children at a childcare centre. Under these circumstances, discipline is often meagre as their caretakers only ensure that the children are well taken care of.

The overwhelming number of students in each classroom also renders the rising number of students' behavioural issues. To ensure that the lesson is carried out with limited time and assistance, teachers are often compelled to close one's eye to the students' behavioural mistakes. This certainly causes other students to think that they would be fine if they misbehaved in the classroom.

In addition, most marriage couples who are in the process of an ongoing divorce or a finalised one have inadequate time for their children. Therefore, their children have no one to provide them with a decent guidance and proper upbringing during their youth or adolescence period. Hence, it is highly likely that these children would create havoc and disrupt lessons.

In order to tackle this undesirable matter, the schools can encourage the parents and their children to attend regular domestic workshops to solidify their family bonds. Families which are close and warm are more likely to have obedient and sophisticated children.

Also, more parents are seen pampering their children to show their love for them. However, pampering allows their children to think that they can obtain anything even when they behave inappropriately. So the government should help to solve this problem by promoting techniques and articles of influential psychologists which target children behaviours. Therefore, parents will have a better understanding of dealing with their children's behaviour and cultivating good manners in their children.

Schools should also provide more courses with regards to juvenile management for school counsellors and teachers.
With a more sophisticated knowledge of child management, the teachers and counsellors will have an easier time in handling students who behave terribly.

To sum it up, dealing with rebellious young students is not a simple task. Nonetheless, with the right modus operandi and knowledge these impetuous, hyperactive and mischievous students can be dealt with effectively.

399 words

tyler1234 3 / 10 2  
May 9, 2016   #2
First of all, you haven't written the question. I'm reading your whole passage in pursuit of finding it.
The second paragraph begins with somehow abstract sentence. Your examples are good though. The third begins the same way. i don't think you've given an adequate cause for not having time issue threre. I don't know what you mean by the last sentence there. I think there is nothing for government to do in pampering. Which students are you referring to in the conclusion. Overall you have a good lexical background. But you tend to start arguing out of the blue. The length is is totally disapproving I think unless this is a kind of GRE essay. All the best

A few gram errors I found: marriegemarried
one'stheir
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
May 9, 2016   #3
Hi Teck, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, I hope we will be able to help you out with any of your writing articles, we also hope that our observation will be useful enough for you to create a well written essay and will guide you in your future writing reference.

Teck, when it comes to your writing, I must say you have done well in this essay, you were able to come up with a straight forward response to the prompt, moreover, the essay of based on facts, the reality of life and this is what makes your essay interesting and worth a read.

If there's anything that I want you to change for a bit is that, the paragraphs can be merged to form a full or bold paragraphs, this is to make sure that there is not a lot of paragraphs in the essay, keep a maximum if 3 - 4 paragraphs, overwhelming your essay with segments might intimidate the reader, so you have to be very careful as well.

I hope my insights help.
OP Theodore 4 / 7 2  
May 10, 2016   #4
Thanks for welcoming into this community. Also, your advice and suggestions have been constructive. Thank you very much!
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
May 11, 2016   #5
Hi Teck, thank you for appreciating our work here on EF, we do hope that you keep on writing, it doesn't need to be an essay or an answer to a specific prompt, any writing chance you can get, you can write anything you want.

One practice that I do, that is very effective, I note my writing by compiling the draft, this way I am able to to see the progress and it is an absolutely rewarding site to be able to see the update of the work and how much you have come from your early writing.

Moreover, research is also one of the best ways to come up with an interesting article, you have to grasp the current events, in order to provide a clever writing and an interesting read.

Lastly, when writing, keep your words simple and use conversational English words, words that are used in daily conversations, this is what I mean and of course, if you have written it this way, the readers will be drawn to reading your essay and they will be able to comprehend well too.

Do let us know should you need further assistance.
akmalnov 3 / 6  
May 15, 2016   #6
Hi theodore,

Regarding to your essay, I noticed a few words need to be replace:

- Some many evenMany of themplacedput their children at a childcare centre ...
- Some typos or word errors in behaviou ral. instead of behavioral

I hope you can take the advantages due to my little assistence to improve your writing skills. Thanks :D
OP Theodore 4 / 7 2  
May 15, 2016   #7
@akmalnov
Thank you for your suggestions.
By the way, the word behavioural is spelt correctly as it is British English.
OP Theodore 4 / 7 2  
May 15, 2016   #8
@justivy03
Thank you for your kind advice and views. I will continue to post essays and provide helpful feedbacks on EF.


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