changes in today's families
Topic: In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?
These days with the development of society, the structure along with roles of modern families have many differences from the old ones. From my personal perspectives, this ongoing changes are the necessary steps to suit the world.
There are two main switch that can see obviously. First, nuclear families substitute the traditional extended families. Before nuclear family process, many generations lived together in the same roof and shared living costs, food and clothes. Neverless, morden families just include parents and their children so they have a independent live. Second, woman nowadays play a important role in family as equally as man. To be more precise, beside that a husband is a breadwinner, a wife could be involved in the financial stability of family by working fulltime and share the financial burdens. Thus, husbands also take responsibilities for doing housechoice which usually is set as default for wifes.
In addition, I strongly believe that such modifications provide positive effects more than its' drawbacks. By reducing number of people in family, each member has their own space and thus comfortable feeling uplifting when live in home. For instant, parents can work at home without children's distraction and could get the effective results. Moreover, the woman contribution in family is always enormous as well as generous that might be worthy of notice. Therefore, the equal situation is a vital key to recognize the importance of woman.
In conclusion, the arrangement and roles in families is the most apparent changes in today's families. Due to all the data, such changes have been benefical for all the members of families.
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Trinh, your essay is severely under developed in terms of proper discussion. Your prompt paraphrase is incomplete and your vocabulary is terribly problematic in this essay. You are using plural word forms where you should be using singular forms (perspectives = perspective, live = lives) and you try to present too much information per paragraph so that the presentations remain under developed.
The clarity of your explanation is very important in the scoring process under the C&C considerations. Without a clear explanation, your score will suffer. The problematic sentence structures stemming from the misuse of plural forms and incorrect sentence presentations pull down your GRA score. Improper vocabulary use (morden = modern) also cause major scoring concerns.
While this is a decent attempt at writing a Task 2 essay, you cannot get a passing score of note with this essay. You need to learn how to write proper simple English sentences, use the correct vocabulary, learn proper English spelling for words, and build your explanations instead of just presenting discussion topics without proper reasoning development. These all combined in this essay to create a highly problematic written presentation. Please try to avoid these problems in the future by practicing and developing your English writing skills a lot more. You can use language apps or formal English classes to help you with your language problem.