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In the recent years, shopping is considered as a common leisure pursuit rather than a housework


Nga267 1 / -  
Jul 18, 2021   #1

In the past shopping is a routine domestic task


Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In the recent years, shopping is considered as a common leisure pursuit rather than a housework as it was a plethora of years ago. Numerous people assume that this trend had better to be encouraged. I agree with this idea to a large extent, however, the drawbacks are quite enormous. Therefore, valid arguments for both sides of this issue will be presented in this essay.

On the one hand, there are two compelling arguments supporting that this change shall not be regarded as beneficial. The fundamental one is that shopping with a high frequency brings about a financial burden on the purchasers. It is not uncommon to see people buying things which are not listed previously and not essential for their daily life. If one has not had a strong economic background, he/she may in the near future ought to loosen other necessary purse-strings. Secondly, a shopaholic can waste an enormous time amount. The one who consider shopping as a hobby can spend hours in the shopping mall. Undoubtedly, this activity is extremely time-consuming. Thus, they will not have much time working or spending with their beloveds.

On the other hand, that shopping is becoming a hobby brings a beneficial signal to the society. Principally, it shows that our life quality is improving. As people have a more abundant budget, their hobbies also change. For instance, instead of doing the normal activities like playing sports, doing the gardening, etc, they go shopping to purchase new clothes, foods or decorating items. By going shopping, they can also relax, and become happier due to the fact that they can spend their own money to buy the things they like. Moreover, when shopping becomes an interest, the consumption amount is increased, and the service industry develop significantly. As a result, there are more occupational opportunities for the youth applying for commercial industry.

In conclusion, it seems to me that while considering shopping as a hobby still has several disadvantages, the beneficial effects that the trend brings us is far more colossal. Additionally, people should have the chance to do things that they are keen on.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Jul 19, 2021   #2
The essay will get a failing TA score which could lead to an overall failing score. The score is the result of a response that is not related to the given task. The writer added a discussion format that was not in the original. The topic e-presentation is acceptable even though the vocabulary is not composed of everyday English words as required. It is the discussion basis that altered the essay to the point of failure.

Original Discussion Instruction: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Response: I agree with this idea to a large extent, however, the drawbacks are quite enormous. Therefore, valid arguments for both sides of this issue will be presented in this essay.

The discussion center for the essay is actually the topic:

IN THE PAST SHOPPING IS A ROUTINE DOMESTIC TASK
Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby.


Which of the 2 idea presentations does the writer agree with to a large extent? Why? The why is what needs to be explained. This is not an advantage and disadvantage comparison. It is this change in focus that made the essay fail.
durianisticism 1 / 2  
Jul 21, 2021   #3
@Nga267

This essay has a wrong thesis statement, TA score will be heavily penalized.

The language used is quite rigid and inappropriate in several sentences. You might want to switch to simple terms, prioritize sentence meanings rather than wordy expressions.

You might want to avoid using terms like "thing", "stuff" and be careful with the use of articles "a" "an" "the".


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