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You recently received an email from your English-speaking friend, who is going to have a holiday


anhlestella 1 / 1  
Dec 6, 2020   #1

Practice writing an email



Exercise: You recently received an email from your English-speaking friend, Pat, he said that he is going to have a holiday.
Write a letter to Pat, and invite him to your country and stay with you during his holiday.

Dear Pat,
It's really great to hear from you. How is it going? I received the email from you which said that you plan to have a holiday. I am writing this email to invite you to visit my country, Vietnam on your holiday.

As you know, my country is famous for having lots of great destinations which are well-known by numerous foreigner tourists such as Ha Long Bay, Phu Quoc, Nha Trang, etc.

If you visit my country, I obviously feel excited to have a chance to be your tour guide and help you not only know more about Viet Nam's special traditional cultures, but also explore my country's food, scenery. Because you haven't visited Viet Nam before, I think Dang Nang, which is called beach city, is the worth destination to visit. The beach there is absolutely clean, blue and the weather is quite pleasant, that is a good chance to go sightseeing, eat seafood and swim. Besides, I also love to invite you to visit my hometown, Ninh Binh, which is beautiful with Bai Dinh temple, Trang An, Mua cave and also has an abundance of delicious traditional food. Additionally, I would like to suggest inviting you to stay in my house in Ninh Binh and my parents, my brother are welcome to you, too.

I hope that you will visit my country on your holiday. I am looking forward to hearing from you and don't forget to give my regards to your parents, too.

Best wishes
Stella
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Dec 7, 2020   #2
You were able to follow the instructions for writing the letter very well. However, the paragraph presentations could have been better developed. Specially the second paragraph which was left totally undeveloped in the presentation. The invitation to visit the country should be accompanied by the offer to be a tour guide in the second, not third paragraph.

You enumerated tourist spots in the second paragraph but you did not really elaborate on why your friend should visit Vietnam based on those places. There was no enticing spot for Pat to come visit you. There is no sense of friendship or reconnecting that you hope to accomplish with your friend by having the person come spend the holiday with you, looking at sites and enjoying your bonding time.

The letter itself meets all the requirements, but could have been presented in a better, more enticing manner that could have improved the overall score by increasing the TA score during the review process.
OP anhlestella 1 / 1  
Dec 7, 2020   #3
@Holt
I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks for useful advices ^^


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