Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


The recognized greatness of a political leader is coming from his ability to take up the challenges


fadh93 6 / 11  
Jan 4, 2016   #1
TASK: The perceived greatness of any political leader has more to do with the challenges faced by that leader than with any of his or her inherent skills and abilities.

Recent years, few political leaders are being spotlighted by media from over the world. They are known from their success on their program to overcome problems of each country. Their perceived greatness of that leader is, some of them believe, coming more from their ability to take up the challenges than their personal traits like inherent skills and abilities.

Foremost, society wants the real actions from political leader to solve their problems. Consequently, they will look on whether the leader is succeeded on their duties or not. Thus, people will not look at the leader's personal traits as the benchmark to indicate the successfulness of that leader. Beside that, taking up the society's challenges requires a lot of experiences. The experience to tackle such problems wil be gained as the matter of time. Furthermore, maturity also comes as the factor of the greatness of leader. The ability to control emotion and to look from other perspectives will help the leader to solve the problem in an acceptable way. This also will lead to create trust from society to the leader. So that, it is not all about their traits that influence their performance but the experiences do.

On the other hand, inherent skills and abilities are only part of factors that create good political leaders. Generally speaking, these traits are only a basis of making desicion and should be molded by time and experience. If we can not upgrade that skills, we will be seen as "a trapped man in the box". As this is only the basis, leaders should have more experience on facing problems, be able to tolerate more on different type of people and also need to meet more and more people to increase their ability on negotiation. Again, there is a factor that may exceed how people see the greatness of political leaders.

In conclusion, we can say that it is truly believed that challenges faced by political leader make more role on their perceived greatness of leader than their inherent skills and abilities. These can be logically proved by these days many political leaders such as Barack Obama, Angela Merkel, and Joko Widodo, the president of Indonesia, are being well perceived by their people because they can tackle some problems their people face, such as how Angela Merkel can save Germany from Europe Financial Crisis, how Obama can improve US economy, and how Joko Widodo can solve infrastructure problem in Indonesia.

-Do I have ideal length?
-Please comment on my essay so that I can improve mine
Thanks
sidchilling 2 / 3 2  
Jan 4, 2016   #2
The essay is very generic. There are no concrete examples and nothing which you have related to. Your essay looks like a combination of generic statements.

I suggest you write afresh. Make up a structure before writing --
- 1st Paragraph -- Introduction as to what you think about the prompt. Explain why. Perhaps, all the paragraphs of your current essay can be concised to form a 4 line introduction.

- 2nd Paragraph -- Find an example of a politician and how s/he demonstrated the idea in the prompt.
- 3rd Paragraph -- Another example of a politician.
- 4th Paragraph (if required) -- A one or two line conclusion.

The essay would be very good if for each example you can describe one experience of that politician -- that will provide real meat to the essay.

Hope this was useful. Looking forward to reading your revised essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / The recognized greatness of a political leader is coming from his ability to take up the challenges
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳