Could anybody evaluate my writing for the IELTS exam, please? Thank you so much for your help.
Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled.
They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
Dealing with the waste from home by recycling has little to no chance to be on the list of chores that many a person under roofs would have had the intention to do regularly. With that being said, creating so many negative effects both on the environment and the quality of life we are living in namely odors from filthy overloading landfills, and the unsteady flow of drainage systems caused by the unwanted presence of plastic waste, etc. Hence, it is urgent for governments to enact a law on recycling at homes in order to increase the tendency of people to recycle more of their homes' waste.
Legislative actions about recycling at homes can decrease the volume of waste that is recyclable but unfortunately be ignored, or thrown away from houses. In addition, residents whose government making recycling at home a legal requirement will be more responsible for reutilizing and recycling their domestic waste as much as possible. Trying to recycle more at home will save people budgets on buying new things which they could have had from recycling their own domestic waste. Besides, it helps reduce the amount of plastic or sorts of products that would come out to the environment causing overloading and pollution.
Having such laws would help governments express their concerns about people's lives and issues that will leave negative effects on the residents such as the problem of too little waste is recycled domestically. Usually, people seem to refrain from being negligent about dealing with waste from homes if there are laws that considered it a legally compulsory task. As a result, people will not only have faith but also gain motivation to give much of their homes' waste some new life circles. Therefore, it lies with the governmental action to stop the hesitation of people in recycling and reusing domestic waste.
To sum up, it is likely that people are unaware of the need to recycle their waste at homes making it essential to have a sheer influence from the authority to mitigate the situation. Thus, governments should take initial steps to encourage people to recycle more domestic waste by having legislative action about recycling at homes.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 12,280 3982
You have not followed the formatting requirements for this essay. There is a missing prompt restatement and response to the given question as your thesis statement for the rest of the discussion. Without that reference point, the essay does not qualify for the TA section. There is a change in the representation of the original statement in your first paragraph, which makes the essay conflict with the original. You have not discussed the essay in the expected manner. As such, the TA score for this will be failing at the very start. Which means, you will not get a passing score for this essay.
I will not focus on the rest of the discussion presentation because the portion of this essay that is severely problematic is the prompt restatement. Rather than simply using your own words to explain the original points, you decided to immediately launch into a discussion of the prompt, which would have been alright if you were taking the TOEFL test, but can result in failure in the EILTS Task 2 test. You changed the original prompt several times:
OT: Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled.
YT: Dealing with the waste from home ... intention to do regularly.
OR: They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement.
YR: With that being said, creating so many negative effects... plastic waste, etc.
OQ: To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?
Response: Hence, it is urgent for governments ...of their homes' waste.
Do you see the discrepancies from the original to your version? You are not discussing the essay topic according to the originally given parameters. You have to stick to the original discussion, and offer a measured response as required. Otherwise, this essay does not meet the TA requirements for the discussion. There is no extent discussion, just a plain reference to the government needing to do more to encourage home recycling, which is not the discussion point of the essay. The discussion point is, "To what extent should the government legislate home recycling?". That is what you failed to discuss. There is no all encompassing discussion for this prompt. Only partial discussion based on the limitations of the government when it comes to the issue of mandating recycling from home.
the question asks you: to what extent do you think ..., so you have to include the answer in your introduction. For example, I COMPLETELY AGREE that (laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste) ( must paraphrase)
@Holt thank you so much for the evaluation, it means a lot to me as a self-taught for this exam. I'll take notes and rewrite my essay which has gone too far from the given topic right away.
@vicz001 thank you for checking my essay, I will go and rewrite it.