Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


How to reduce YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT?


CANDYCAT 1 / -  
Aug 13, 2011   #1
In many countries more young people are leaving school but unable to find jobs. What problems do you think youth unemployment is causing for individuals and society as a whole? What measure should be taken to reduce the level of youth unemployment..

Nowadays, with the development of society, youth unemployment is becoming a global problem, which affects not only individuals but also society in every region of the world. A series of problems may be resulted in and measures should be taken to cut down the figures of youth unemployment to change the situation.

It is obvious to see that young people without a job for a long time may probably endanger the social stability. Youths are always filled with enthusiasm and burning with righteous ardor. They need career to achieve their dreams and keep pace with the outside world. Without a job or proper guidance, the youth may attribute their unemployment to the society as well as schools and the thought may lead them to embark on the road of degeneration and crime.

What is more, youth unemployment is an unseen waste of talent and resources. Our government spends a considerable number of resources on education, in order to make the youth useful for our society. What a waste it is when a university graduate sits around all day long and has no career to develop, let alone seek his or her dreams.

To bring the youth a bright future, our schools and government as well as the youth themselves have responsibilities to improve the situation. Firstly, our schools especially universities and colleges should present courses associated with work experience. The employer will never refuse a graduate with a store of knowledge and fund of work experience. Secondly, a law may be a good measure that our government takes to protect the graduates. The companies have responsibilities to offer job opportunities to the graduates, and the figures should also be set in the law. Thirdly, the youth themselves should do their utmost to become qualified. It is obviously that no positions will reject a suitable talent.

In sum, youth unemployment really does harm to our society as well as individuals. Our schools and governments as well as youth themselves need to go into action to relieve it. Only in that way ,can the youth face a much brighter future.
greenfish16 1 / 12  
Aug 14, 2011   #2
Good work but you can do better. if the prompt is about ways to improve the employment situation, then you haven't done enough. The solutions you offered were all cramped into a single paragraph. And basically you made only two meaningful suggestions to curb the youth unemployment.

in sum[mary], if the prompt is about reducing unemployment, a rewrite should be undertaken. Otherwise, with Susan's correction and another edit you should be okay.


Home / Writing Feedback / How to reduce YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳