Asking teacher for some good words
Dear Dr. Smith,
I am writing this letter with regards to a reference letter I need for a job application.
After graduating from Houston University, I applied to a few positions in the area of airline planning. Lately, United Airways responded with an invitation for an interview for a role in network planning. The position is located in Chicago, and it is a junior level which does not require previous job experience.
The opportunity in United Airways is appealing since airline always ranks in the top 10 of best airlines around the world. Also, employees who start working for the company go through extensive training which costs thousands of dollars if taken outside personally.
The reference letter has to be in a particular format which I have enclosed to this letter. I also would like you to put some extra information about which classes I took from you and the grades I achieved. That additional information will be very helpful, as I achieved A from all of them.
I appreciate your help on this matter.
Tanner, this essay can score a 5 in an actual setting. That is because it mechanically addressed the prompt requirements. It is mechanical because you merely provided all of the necessary information as indicated in the instructions. You failed to properly develop the letter in order to make to make it more interesting and useful for your purpose.
You should have started off the letter by refreshing the memory of your professor about who you are. Remember that a period of time has already passed and this professor has hundreds of students in his classes per semester, so it would have been imperative to reintroduce yourself and assume that he will remember you immediately. Give your full name, the name of the course you took, what semester, time, and classroom that you attend his classes. This will help him to pull out the correct student record and allow him to better recall who you are as his student.
When you discussed the opportunity to work for United Airways, aside from the general reasons for wanting to work there, you should have included a personal reason, such as a career goal, that could have encouraged him to support the writing of a positive recommendation letter for you.
The points above are the main reasons that your essay did not score as highly as it could have. Had you tried to write a more personal, rather than mechanical letter, I do not doubt that you could have scored at least a 6 with this essay.
Hi Tanner, Welcome to Essay Forum. Hopefully, you can harness this as well as possible for improving your essay.
Actually, this letter is enough good, but it has still needed improvement. Firstly, please you introduce yourself briefly to remind your teacher or make him sure that you are someone which he minded. You need to arrange your explanation systematically so that you can create a good flow. When you mentioned that you are gonna apply for a job, you are supposed to explain why you wanna choice that. Don't present its reasons in the separate paragraph for keeping the flow. Furthermore, you have required more strong statement why you wanna become an employee there.
Following that, you make sure that what you write is what you mind. There were a few of messy sentences which you should rewrite to keep coherence and cohesion. In addition, to a high score, you are used to delivering proper linking words to make this flow smoother.
I really hope those can help you for finalizing your letter.
Hi! I am learning IELTS and i really like to practise just like you . This kind of essay is really strange because i have not heard about this in ielts in fact i just know about pie chart or line chart or something relevant to chart. But I will give you some advise such as when you are writing ielts you should use accademic words. You are lack of this so it will make your essay become bad score. secondly use some adv that makes your essay become smoothly. For example respectively, marginally, in th region of , that will score your essay.
Secondly, your essay is leean because it lacks idea. You can not just answer or the question without more information about that question. for example, you should say about this question why you want it, you should try to explan the mininum sentence your interest 1 sentence , society because it can make you earn so many money, your parent