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RE: Regents Scholarship Appeal Statement


scholarappeals 1 / -  
Jun 29, 2015   #1
I lost my scholarship that required a 3.5 cumulative gpa, I've finished the last year with a 3.491. In it I list a couple reasons for this and how I plan to get it back. Any help would be great, thanks in advance.

RE: Regents Scholarship Appeal Statement

I am writing to appeal the cancellation of my Regents and Honors Textbook Scholarships. I understand that I am responsible for the loss of these scholarships, as I only achieved a 3.491 cumulative GPA at the end of this year. However, I would ask that you consider the following points, and especially note my strong recovery this Spring Semester.

Throughout my first year and a half of college I was involved in a difficult relationship; my girlfriend suffered from depression and relied on me for support. I struggled balancing all my personal relationships, especially this challenging one, with my school work. This was aggravated last Fall (2014) following a near-fatal accident that left my girlfriend with a lot of mental and physical damage. I did my best to help her recover, but this impacted my grades quite severely. We ended our relationship the last week of fall semester. In the future, I will be able to identify and avoid spending too much time on personal relationships rather than work because of this experience.

This past (Spring 2015) semester I achieved a much better GPA of 3.78. I had realized that I needed to devote much more attention to my education. While in college I should strive to get the best education possible. I prioritized getting my work done and studying above everything else. I spent significantly less time with my friends and more at my desk. Whereas in past semesters I might only study the night before a test, I made review plans and started days in advance. I became more organized, writing down all of my assignments and putting aside time in my schedule to work on homework for each class instead of doing it whenever I thought of it. I will continue these habits in the future as I have seen how successful I can be.

This last semester was not easy, but I met the challenge with a focus and dedication I had not had before. Furthermore, I was diagnosed with mono in March and had to work through the constant fatigue for over a month (attached are my records from the health center.) Without mono, I believe my grades could have been even better, as I was half a point away from an A in my Software Engineering class and less than a point away from an A- in my Embedded Systems class.

I hope that you will share my confidence that my future years at UNL will be good ones, and my grades will meet and surpass the minimum criteria for the scholarships. Regardless of the decision made, I would like to thank UNL for the original scholarships I received and for this opportunity to appeal.

Sincerely,

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jun 29, 2015   #2
I will give you some advice for your statement. I wrote an appeal many years ago. Appeal letters are sometimes difficult to write and depend on the circumstances that are involved. Hopefully, the appeals committee will see that you committed a selfless act to help someone who needed you during that time.

I was in the same position my first year in college, and my grade point average fell below the minimum requirements. If you do this mathematical calculation it is exactly 0.009 below the minimum requirement. What was your grade point average the next semester? If it met the requirements, you can do a comparison and express how diligent you are as a student and that the drop was minimal despite your extenuating circumstances with your girlfriend and sickness.

I want to give you feedback on your writing:
Don't capitalize fall. 3rd paragraph: You could possibly describe the semester simply as, "This spring semester... (without putting it in parenthesis) ".
Also, place a comma after "semester". In the next sentence delete, "had". Place a comma after college. In the last sentence, place a comma after future.

4th paragraph: Instead of using the transition Furthermore, you could use, "For example". You need a transition word to illustrate how it wasn't easy and that being sick was an important reason why you fell short of some grade points.

5th paragraph: You use "and" to describe meet and surpass the criteria set. I would use "or" to replace and, because it would show that you are committed to meet the minimum requirement or even surpass it.

Please proofread it again and I hope your appeal is considered.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Jun 30, 2015   #3
- However, I would ask that you re- consider the following points, and especially note my strong recovery this Spring Semester.

- I struggled balancing all my personal relationships, especially this challenging one, with my school work.

- This was aggravated last Fall (2014) following a near-fatal accident that left my girlfriend with a lot of mental and physical damage.

- In the future, I will be ableThis experience enabled me to identify,prioritize and avoid spending too much time on personal relationships rather than work because of this experience .

- I will continue these habits in the future as I have seen how successful I can be. Rephrasing this sentence;

Having seen my potential in achieving my goals, I promised myself to continue prioritizing my studies above anything else and my devotion to the field will always be on top of my list.


Scholarappels, WELCOME to EssayForum, it's great to be part of the EF Family.
Now, as you can see I made a few corrections that will hopefully enhance your essay.
I salute you for being brave and able to overcome the challenges of life but there's still a lot more to come
so be strong more than ever and be a man that you are.

Let us know how your appeal went, we would love to hear it.

Keep writing

Cheers!!!


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