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IELTS; rejecting public educational system would not be better


fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Oct 11, 2013   #1
Children should be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Education is an inevitable part for children. Parents play a tremendous role to enhance their career. On the other hand, school, college and university have been cropped up to educate the pupils. However, the argument is that the home schooling is great for the children . I do not agree with the statement mentioned in order for plenty of reasons.

Parental education is not sufficient for the children. Because we all acknowledge that the prospective of school is to qualify children's growth of mind in social and intellectual ability. Whereas, parents just take care of them keeping private tutors or self-study. Social skills are as important as theoretical knowledge for children. Schools are the best place to learn social skills because they provide such environment which ordinary household cannot.

Many parents are busy with work and business. It's impossible for them to give a lot of time to their children. Moreover, yet in the developing countries, we find many of them are illiterate who do not understand the importance of education. In this case, school will be the best place to literate their children.

Research says human contact influences them a tendency in positive way. communicating with others play an essential role in their development. during their class period children concentrate with whole of thinking and have a chance to contract each other such as realization and attention to the lessons which increase brilliancy. In contrast, getting education at home keep them away from such encouragement. Children at home feel free of mobility. No presser, no home task cause less progress of children.

Some people would argue that children recently are facing foul mouths, bullies or any inappropriate behaviour. they are unprotected in the playground. Sometimes they may occur any dire accident in road. Parents feel better to keep them on teaching at home.

In conclusion, rejecting public educational system would not be better off in the modern civilized society. A child's upbringing must include sharing views with other kids.

words; 344..too?
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Oct 11, 2013   #2
Education is an inevitable part for children.

Education is not an inevitable part of children. It is an inevitable part for their development.;
Education plays a very important role in the development children, both psychologically and physically.

Parents play a tremendous role to enhance their career.

... why career? this topic is about education and the role played by the parents in educating their children. So this sentence sounds pretty irrelevant.

I do not agree with the statement mentioned in order for plenty of reasons .

I do not agree with this statement due to several reasons.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Oct 13, 2013   #3
Education is an inevitable part for children. Parents play a tremendous role to enhance their career. On the other hand, school, college and university have been cropped up to educate the pupils. However, the argument is that the home schooling is great for the children . I do not agree with the statement mentioned in order for plenty of reasons.

I feel that these sentences lack coherence with each other. Don't make your introduction too complicated. You could try another one, starting with Pahan's correction. For example:

Education plays a very important role in the development of children, both psychologically and physically. In my opinion, children should attend educational institutions for studying rather than being home-schooled.

Parental education is not sufficient for the children. Because we all acknowledge that the prospective of school is to qualify children's growth of mind in social and intellectual ability.

Home education is insufficient for the growth of children, notably in terms of social interaction.

Whereas, parents just take care of them keeping private tutors or self-study.

Homeschooled children have less chance to interact with other friends.
Your ideas needs to be rearranged. I find it quite difficult to follow your ideas.
I hope this helps!
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Oct 14, 2013   #4
I feel that these sentences lack coherence with each other. Don't make your introduction too complicated. You could try another one, starting with Pahan's correction. For example:
Education plays a very important role in the development of children, both psychologically and physically. In my opinion, children should attend educational institutions for studying rather than being home-schooled.

Yes.... both Pahan and MisterWandering are trying to align your introduction with the task requirements. I remember providing you with a format to follow for your introduction. This one is somewhere there, but does not exactly in line with that. You have a hook which is good (your first sentence). Then you have some problems in the background. Again you clearly states your position. So, if you pay more attention to the background part, then you are through.


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