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Relationship should be for eternity - nothing else in this world can last forever


seasee 1 / -  
Aug 28, 2015   #1
(Hoping someone can correct my mistakes and give some suggestions)

Eternity means last forever. But, there are nothing in this world can last forever, except relationship. Every relationship is the precious, especially the relationship between family members. This relationship should be for eternity.

The relationship between family members is blissful. Every life that comes to this world has our own family. We are raised and taken with care by our parents. The love and care of parents to us is existed since the moment the new life reached this massive world. The love of parents to us is shown clearly when we are still a new born baby. They almost spend 24 hour a day around us. They always worry if we are hungry, have pee or poo, or get sick. After we have grown up, parents will start to figure out our future pathway. The love and care of parents to us is unreplaceable and it will incessant for their entire lifetime. So, the relationship between family members is for eternity.

Furthermore, the relationship of siblings cannot be broken. Every of us spend all our childhood's time together with our siblings. They are the one besides our parents who know everything about us because we share, discuss our happiness, sadness and teething troubles with them. The caring between siblings is also significant. They take care us when we sick, give us support whenever we faced mistakes and failures in our journey to fulfill our dreams and lead us their shoulder when we are tired and sleepy.

Although relationship between family members should be for eternity, but no matter how strong the relationship is, every family member still has their own personality and thinking. The different in mind result to the different in idea, opinion and perspective. Hence, some arguments happen and everyone is angered. Someone once said that blood is thicker than water and this is a true statement. We maybe always have some arguments, saliva wars and cold wars with our family members. But in our body, we still have the same blood and almost similar genes, every fighting and anger will disappear on itself after a short period. This has proven that relationship between family members is for eternity.

In addition, the relationship between family members is the most rigid relationship. Family members are those who always protecting us. When we had done some unforgiveable mistakes, family members may feel disappointed to us, but they still forgive us and protect us from others. This action maybe wrong but it is because of the love and care between family members. While if we had done some almost negligible misdemeanor, they may tell a white lie to protect us. Their forgiveness and protection to us is same as the relationship between family members, both is for eternity.

In conclusion, every type of relation plays important role in our life, especially the relationship between family members. Family members are the one who will not betray us forever, regardless what we had done. Family members also are the one who will love and care about us forever, this is the fact that cannot be mending. Thus, this relationship should be for eternity.

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Aug 29, 2015   #2
I would like to help you with some of your essay.

I will focus on two paragraphs. There are some missing words and incorrect use of words. Here is a correction for your second sentence: "Yet, there is nothing in this world that can last forever, except a relationship." The next sentence delete "the" before precious.

The secondparagraph, I'm a little confused by the second sentence. Do you mean that every child that comes into this world has a family? The next sentence needs a slight change: "...taken care of..." The following sentence some of the sentence needs corrections:"... our parents gave us existed the moment we entered into this world."

The next sentence:" parents was shown when we were a newborn baby." The word order needs to be corrected in the following sentence:" spent almost twenty-four hours". I think you need to change the verbs to the past tense. Some of these verbs I have placed in bold to show you the changes.

The next sentence needs these corrections:" They were always worried when we were hungry, needed changing, or became sick." I tried to help you with specific terms in the essay that I think should be avoided so I replaced them with words such as " changing and became".

The next two sentences, I will help you with word choice: "...irreplaceable and it will last our entire lives". You could use "Therefore" to begin the last sentence. Also, the word "an" should be placed before eternity.

I hope this helps you!


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