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Personal relationship between people has come withering away, since they using electronic media


Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, technologies are developing in the world especially electronic media such as hand phone. All of people are using hand phone to help them easier to do some activities. Some people argue that using electronic media has negative impacts on relationship between societies. Personally, I tend to agree because communication media does not only give negative impact for user but it has several benefits for people who use it.

All of people especially young adults are using hand phone for communication with other people such as families, friends and other people. There are several negative impacts using hand phone. For the first is society demanding to build communication in one forum. For an instance, someone who have dinner with oldest friends, and in the moment, they are just playing gadget while they waiting errand. As a results, they do not have many conversations in the meeting and just fill obligation. The second negative impact is electronic media can cause disagreements between people. For example, teenager who have problem with friend in the school and after that, she write status in the Facebook but her status not directed for her friend. As a results, the problem between them bigger than before. The last is people will be race with other society about who have the good electronic media. For instance, teenagers who see their friend have a new hand phone, so it can make them to buy hand phone with a sophisticated version. In directly, It makes them reside compete.

On the other hand, there are several benefits if we are using electronic media. For the first, tool of communication with other people who have long distance with us. For instance, teenager who study in abroad foreign, they cannot back to home every day, so they use hand phone to give information with families. The second positive effect is people can get and share fast information from others. For instance, student who have assignment from his teacher, he can extend to all of his friends this assignment in the group social media such as Facebook group and messenger group.

All in all, drawbacks outweigh the advantages. In my opinion, personal relationship between people has come withering away since their using electronic media, but for society who can manage the portion time to meet with people or to using hand phone , they can get positive impact from electronic media.

nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 1, 2016   #2
Hello Willy!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

... media such as hand phone (such as mobile phone and computers)

*For an instance, someone who have has dinner with oldest friends, and in at the moment,...
*... who have problem with their friend in the school and ...
*As a results, the problem between them bigger than before (You should put more explanation about the effect of this problem to their personal relationship)

For the first Firstly, tool of communication with other people ...

In the body paragraph 2 you should say more about positive impact electronic media in personal relationships between people, not in general way.

Break a leg Willy :)
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Nov 1, 2016   #3
Hello willy! I will give you some opinions about your essay.

(1) Nowadays, technologies are becoming more developeddeveloping in the world especially electronic media, such as hand phone.
(2) All ofMost people are using hand ...
(3) Personally, I tend to agree because communication media does not only ...
... because despite its benefits for people, electronic media can give negative impact for the user
(4) All ofMost people, especially young adults, are using hand ...
(5) ... negative impacts by using hand phone.
(6) For the first is society demandingdemands to build communication ...
(7) ... while they waiting errandan order.
(8) ... problem between them is getting bigger than before.
(9) The last is people will be racecompete with other society ...
(10) For the first, as a tool offor communication with other ...


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