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The Relationships of Employees with Their Manager and Co-Workers


SarlindaDS_27 42 / 52 5  
Nov 3, 2016   #1
Writing Task I (November 3, 2016)

The charts describe the results of questionnaires about employee relationships with their managers and colleagues in workplace after five years gap in 2005 and 2009. Overall, both of pie charts show that "very good" is the most choices of employees as the description of their relationships towards their managers and peer-workers and had been slightly increased over the years in 2005 and 2009.

Based on the grouping of pie charts first type which describes of relationships between employees and their managers had shown that there are less 10 % of employees who give answers "fair" and the employees who not have managers has been fewer in 2005 with 1% than in 2009 with 5 % after had increased by 4 %. Almost the answers of employees around on extremely "very good" choices which had been steadily above 60 % since in 2005 until 2009 %.

Same conditions with the pie charts second type which provides information on relationships between employees and their colleagues had shown that there are less 3 % of employees who not have co-workers in their jobs. A closer look reveals that "very good" answers is the highest percentage of employees opinions about their co-workers with consistently above on 60 % after had increased significantly by 7 % from 2005 t0 2009.

(215 words)




abangabul93 15 / 27  
Nov 3, 2016   #2
Hai, @Sarlinda, I got some advice for your writing:

... show that "very good" is (WAS) the most choices (...) and had been slightly increased over ...

Based on the grouping of pie charts first type (THE FIRST PIE CHARTS), which (IT) describes (DESCRIBED) of (THE) relationships between employees (...) that there are (WAS) less 10 % of employees who give (GAVE) answers "fair" and (...) with 5 % after had increased (INCREASING) by 4 %.

... of employees (WAS) around on extremely ...

Same conditions with (SIMILARLY, IT OCCURRED IN) the pie charts second (SECOND PIE CHARTS) type which provides (D) information on relationships (...) colleagues(. IT) had shown that there are (WAS) less 3 % of employees ...

... "very good" answers is (HAD) the highest percentage (...) by 7 % from 2005 t0 (O) 2009.
Anna94 47 / 56 3  
Nov 3, 2016   #3
HALLO,

... after five years gap in [between ] 2005 and 2009.

... of pie charts [punctuation mark here ] [the ] first type which describes [described ] of relationships (...) that there are [were ] less 10 % of employees who give [gave ] answers "fair" and the employees who [did ] not have managers ...

... shown that there are [were ] less 3 % of employees who [did ] not have co-workers ...
... that "very good" answers is [was ] the highest percentage ...

GLUCK:D
Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Nov 4, 2016   #4
... results of questionnaires about employee relationships with their (...) after five years gapin 2005 and 2009.
-------> be careful with noun plural employee ------> employees
--------> in: between

... show that "very good" category was the most choices of staff members as the description of their relationships towards their bosses and workmates and had increased slightly over the years ...

a. be careful with past tense
b. be careful with repetitive
workers-----> employees, staff members
supervisors----> managers, bosses, directors
co-workers---------> peers, workmates, colleagues

... managers had shown that there arewere less at 10 % of employees who givegave answers "fair" and ...
Almost the answers of employees was around on extremely ...
mardian24 46 / 75  
Nov 4, 2016   #5
Hi SarlindaDS_27, let me give you comments

1. ... had been slightly increased ...
For the meaning, it is better to use active in this sentence instead of passive

2. ... over the years in 2005 and 2009. ..
You can say 'over the years' or over four-years period to make it simple

3. ... who do not have managers ...
You can give verb 'do' before not

Thank you
Break a leg
nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Nov 4, 2016   #6
Hello Sarlinda!
Allow me to give you some suggestion.

managers and colleagues in workplace after five yearsgap in 2005 and 2009.

This sentence will make people confused about this word, I guess. "After five years" sounds like the survey only done in 2009.
It will be better if you say "managers and colleagues in workplace over 2005 and 2009 years.


Consider with tenses.

there were less 10 % of employees who gave answers "fair"

after had increased by 4 %

which had been steadily above 60 % since

In this task, you have to use past tense since the time signal is clear.

Hope it helps you :)


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