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Renovations in the sports centres - IELTS WRITING TEST 4 CAMBRIDGE 13

ditmemay 2 / 2  
Nov 23, 2022   #1

university sports centre - present and future

Task 1:
The advance of an unknown university sports centre from the contemporary time to the future is illustrated in the two maps given.
Overall, there will be several practical renovations taking place in the sports centre according to the plan with the most significant change which is being made in the area surrounding the present indoor zone of the centre.

In greater detail, the area of the sports centre will be enlarged at the expense of eliminating two outdoor courts. Beside, the fitness centre which is arranged in the north of the 25-metre pool will be levelled up in terms of magnitude. A new sports hall will be opened up adjacent to the seating area.

Regarding the others, a new sports hall will be opened up adjacent to the seating area. The two prospective dance studios will be introduced in the northeast corner of the centre. A new pool whose use is for recreation will be construced to the west. Moreover, the number of changing rooms will increase as the two other ones will be constructed in the corner of the centre. Finally, a new cafe will be added at the side of the southeast changing room, whereas a sports store will be opened up next to the southwest counterpart.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,397 4385  
Nov 23, 2022   #2

The summary overview and trending statement is not very well developed. It has resulted in a confusing short information presentation that does not help the reader understand the information provided in the unseen image. It is a confusing paragraph that will not receive a passing GRA score based on the inability of the summary to clearly help the reader understand the specifics of the image.

What type of image was presented? Was it an illustrative map? There are several types of maps. Could it have been an illustrative drawing rather than a map? What years are covered or being compared? Can the writer write in a more clarified manner that goes beyond compressed and long sentences? These questions represent the reasons why the essay is problematic and why it may not receive a passing score. The writer needs to develop his C+C skills in relation to GRA scoring. Otherwise, his ends up with these less than understandable reporting presentations.

For this essay, a 4 paragraph presentation should have been used that properly explained the old layout, what changes are planned, and how these changes will affect the overall set up of the location in the future. So it should have:

Par. 1: Summary + Trend
Par. 2: Original description
Par. 3: New description
Par. 4: Analysis of how the overall changes affects the layout (Is it better? If so, why? Is it worse? Why?)

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