They'll say I impacted the 21st century by my work in...
But they allowed you to make up your own topic, so this is basically the question I answered, but not exactly. I feel what I am saying is very redundant, I have 1-2 pages to work with here, so I don't feel stressed on length. Could you review this and give me some suggestions?
My Essay:
The world is entering a new era; it is an era of change. The people who lead this era must be able to embrace the change, and to be the change. The changes will be a result of the creativity of the new generation, creating technologies to better the world we live in. But my generation is unable to do it on creativity alone, real change requires motivation, stimulation, and inspiration. Special experiences can motivate, stimulate, and inspire a young individual, such as me, to realize their dream, potential, and place in the world.
When I arrived at the Westin in downtown Detroit, I didn't know what to expect. I was in an environment that was totally new to me, surrounded by prominent business people such as Bill Ford, and the presidents of distinguished local colleges and universities. Despite the fact that it was all new to me, I felt very comfortable and I waited with anticipation for Dr. Jackson to speak. After enjoying lunch and dessert, it was time for the speech to begin, and when the crowd silenced, she began to give a speech that would change my life forever.
The speech as a whole wasn't directed at me, as a student, but the overall message was universal. I took the message of "expediting serendipity" to heart and I realized then what I am here to do, both now and in the future. As she spoke, with each sentence she orated, I became more aware of the world around me and of what I need to do in order to improve the future milieu of the earth, while still doing what I am passionate about.
While I am in college I will engage in research that will, under the most favorable conditions, change the world. Serendipity will play a large role in changing the world, because while planning to change is a proven method, it is slow; it is what happens by chance that most often rapidly and significantly metamorphoses society. My studies in college will prepare me to recognize and act upon any chance that I may be presented with in the future, and to "exploit [my] research results to drive innovation..." and by doing that I would inevitably change the world (Rensselaer Plan). With motivation, stimulation, and inspiration, provided both by me, my colleagues, and my professors, I can exploit and expedite the innovation process in furtherance of the Rensselaer Plan, and living up to the Rensselaer motto: "Why not change the world?"
The question still remains, however: How will they say that I impacted the 21st Century? The truth is that, in fact, I do not know. When I asked the honorable Shirley Ann Jackson, Ph.D. what I should research in order to "expedite serendipity" to make a greater America and a better world, she told me that any answer she would give me now would be irrelevant even one year from now, and even more inapplicable four years from now when I am finished with my undergraduate degree. And what she says is true, Innovation is a result of serendipity, but we are also reminded by the words of Louis Pasteur that "Chance favors the prepared mind." And whether I will or will not change the world is a simple question to answer, but in what way will I change the world is a much more difficult question to answer. I do, however, know how I will change the world: I will be prepared, I will embrace serendipity, I will be motivated, I will be stimulated, and I will be inspired.
Thank You.
well...I feel like an idiot for never putting that in my essay, but thank you for pointing that out. Maybe we'll meet someday at RPI and maybe we'll change the world together! because...why not change the world?
I will post an updated version of this essay, because I just realized a couple other things wrong.
And totally irrelevant to the essay...but...you do realize that RPI is 75% male? The gender bias is something they're trying to eliminate, so by you merely applying to RPI, you are helping to further Rensselaer's mission, outlined in the Rensselaer Plan. Just thought I'd let you know.
Its the required essay on the Common App Supplement. It doesnt have the prompt for the college of engineering on there, but if you go to rpi.edu and look at the application checklist, it tells you what the required essay should be. In addition, i dont believe it will allow you to submit the supplement without an essay. i hope this helps, and I really hope I am right...
The world has entered an era of rapidly increasin g change. The people who lead Leading scientists of this era must be able to embrace the change, and to become the change. The changes will be a result of the creativity of the new generation, creating technologies to for the betterment of the world we live in which we live. But my generation is unable to do it thrive on creativity alone; real change requires motivation, stimulation, and inspiration. Special experiences can motivate, stimulate, and inspire a young individual, such as me, to realize their dream, potential, and place in the world.
I suggest replacing this last sentence of the first paragraph with one that is meaningful and specific rather than general. End the first para with a sentence that expresses the central idea of the whole essay. Then, spend the rest of the essay explaining this idea.
