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Repaying a kindness; My aunt was an epitomy of goodness.


aysha 7 / 1  
Dec 28, 2006   #1
Topic:Repaying a kindness.

I lay flat on my back on the narrow caste iron bed, thinking about my aunt. I wonder why painful memories stayed more vivid than pleasant ones. She was the person I loved the most and it's just because of her that I'm alive. My aunt was an epitomy of goodness.

I was infatuated on a girl in my class. Her name was Anita. She liked me too. Well, she was from a very prosperous family but her father was really a surly man. He didn't like my friendship with Anita. He tried to warn me and Anita many times but we couldn't live without each other. Anita always went out on movies with me and throwed a caution to the wind. On the other hand my aunt's daughter Sonu liked me very much. She always admired my ways and my actions. She wanted to marry me.

One day when I was sitting in my lawn warming my hands around the mug of steaming hot coffee Anita's father entered suddenly. He had a pistol in his hand and drew a bead at me. His look was full of mistrust, hate and misery. He fired, the bullet escaped from the muzzle and hit directly into my aunt's left arm, who had come in front of me just to save my life. Anita's father immediately fled.

My aunt was wounded severely. She was taken to the hospital immediately. The doctors said that she was very serious and it was too late. On her death-bed she expressed her last wish to me. She wanted her daughter to be married and live a well settled life with her husband. After saying this she breathed her last.

Life had been tough for me. I was only twenty but I felt a hundred years old. I wanted to repay for the kindness my aunt had done for me. She had saved me at the risk of her life. I became headstrong and decided to marry Sonu. Although I didn't love her as much as Anita but it was just a sacrifice I was giving. Perhaps this was only the way I could adopt to repay for my aunt's deed by fulfilling her last wish.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Dec 28, 2006   #2
Greetings!

This is a compelling story. It just needs a little tweaking.

I lay flat on my back on the narrow cast-iron bed, thinking about my aunt. I wondered why painful memories stayed more vivid than pleasant ones. She was the person I loved the most and it was only because of her that I was alive. My aunt was the epitome of goodness.

I was infatuated with a girl in my class. Her name was Anita. She liked me, too. She was from a very prosperous family, but her father was a surly man. He didn't like my friendship with Anita. He tried to warn Anita and me many times, but we couldn't live without each other. Anita often went to the movies with me, throwing caution to the wind.

My aunt's daughter, Sonu, liked me very much. She always admired my ways and my actions. She wanted to marry me. [Add something about how you felt about Sonu, for example: "Sonu was a nice girl, but I could never feel about her the way I felt about Anita."]

One day, I was sitting in my yard, warming my hands around a mug of steaming-hot coffee, when suddenly, Anita's father appeared. He had a pistol in his hand and drew a bead on me. His eyes were full of mistrust, hate and misery. As he fired, my aunt jumped in front of me. The bullet escaped from the muzzle and struck my aunt's left arm. Anita's father fled, disappearing as quickly as he had come.

My aunt was wounded severely, and had to be taken to the hospital right away. The doctors said that she was very seriously injured and it was too late. On her death-bed, she expressed her last wish to me. She wanted her daughter to be married and live a well-settled life with her husband. After saying this she breathed her last. [This would be more effective if you actually showed her saying it.]

Life had been tough on me. I was only twenty, but I felt a hundred years old. I wanted to repay my aunt for the kindness she had shown me. She had saved me at the expense of her own life. I became headstrong and decided to marry Sonu. Although I didn't love her as much as Anita, it was a sacrifice I was willing to make.I felt the only way I could repay my aunt's sacrifice was by fulfilling her last wish.

Hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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