While there are various reasons for this, the government can solve this problem by adjusting the law and promoting healthy activities.
Provide direct reasons. These reasons will help give your solution topic credibility in relation to the opinion response requirements.
Despite knowing that millions of people continue doing unhealthy activities.
The paraphrase of this reference is missing in the restatement. Always review your work for complete restatement content. Any missing reference will alter the original focus. Your essay is guilty of this alteration.
for their limited time
In relation to what activity? Complete the sentence reference to clearly connect to the mutationist reference at the end.
alcohol and tobacco
This was not referred to in the earlier discussion so do not mention it here. These references lessen the cohesiveness between paragraphs.
to hold more physical activities
How does this relate to the videogame problem? It does not. The solutions must always relate to the causes or problems in the previous paragraph for coherence purposes.