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Replies for different essay questions - Introduction and Conclusion


ayulia 3 / 8 1  
Dec 17, 2014   #1
Please help me to improve my writing skill by giving suggestions and corrections. Thank you..

Q :
1. Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A :
Introduction
Knowing type of the way to study determine in final study. For some people, they argue that study in group is effective way to acquire knowledge. In my view, however it is not study group in it self which is important; it is self study that can help to deeply learn some lesson.

Conclusion
In conclusion, study in group give positive influence for some people to learn the lesson. However, study alone also engaged with improvement of learning. I believe using 2 kinds of way to study in right condition will improve the study comprehension.

Q :
2. Many criminals reoffend after they have been punished. Why do some people continue to commit crimes after they have been punished, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

A :
Introduction
Jail is the best place for criminals to be better person. For this reason, some people believe that after get freedom, criminals are tend to regret their mistakes and try to be better person in society. While this is true for some extend, i would aggre that many crimes occure due to ex-criminals. Several factors have led to this issue, but there are measures that governments and individuals can take to solve this problem.

Conclusion
To sum up, it is evidence that although a number of factors are resulting in an issue of reoffend criminals, solutions to tackle the problem are available to governments and individuals.

Q :
3. As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

A :
Introduction
Job satisfaction influence in work quality. Some people view that the only thing which influence in job satisfaction is material benefit. However, i do agree that personal well-being play vital role in making worker satisfied. it is realistic reason to enjoy the job.

Conclusion
To sum up, it is evidence that job satisfaction deppends on material benefit and personal happiness. I argue that the employers should concern about these 2 aspects to obtain viable quality in work.

Q :
4. Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

A :
Introduction
People learn through their entire lives. For this reason, some people believe that children should learn foreign language in secondary school as they has excellent ability in mother tongue language. I believe that it is better for children to start learning foreign language in primary school instead of secondary school.

Conclusion
In conclusion, it is evidence that the benefit of learning foreign language for children in primary school borders outweight the secondary school. I believe that when children prepared with foreign language, they can compete to other people in their future.

Q :
5. Air travel only benefits the richest people. The majority of people get no advantage from development of air travel.
To what extent do you agree or disagree.

A :
Introduction
The use of air travel is one indicator of country wealth. Some people believe that richest people is the only person who get benefit from air travel. However, i do not agree with this view point and believe that majority of people also would gain considerable advantages from development of air travel.

Conclusion
To sum up, it is evident that it is not the reachest people who get profit from air travel, it is majority of people too. I argue that the economic in one country will increase together with the development of air travel.
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Dec 18, 2014   #2
1. Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A :
Introduction
Knowing type of the way to study determines in final study. For some people, they argue that study in group is effective way to acquire knowledge. In my view, however it is not study group in it self which is important; it is self study that can help to deeply learn some lesson .

In my personal view, study in group and self study provide some beneficial advantages for schoolchildren.

Let me try to write the intro for the question above.
Introduction:
Education is the valuable investment for the future. For this reason, some people have different perspectives about the effectiveness of group study rather than working alone. Although studying independently provides some benefits, I strongly believe that group work is more productive.

Conclusion
In conclusion,The aforementioned evidence shows that study in group gives positive influence for some people to learn the lesson. However, study alone also engagedprovideswithan impressive improvement of learning. Therefore, I believe using 2 kinds of way to study in right condition will improve the study comprehension.

Jail is the best place for criminals to be better person. For this reason, some people believe that after get getting freedom, criminals are tend to regret their mistakes and try to be better person in society. While this is understandabletrue for some extend , i would aggre (misspelling) that many crimes occure (misspelling) due to ex-criminals. Several factors have led to this issue, but there are measures that governments and individuals can take to solve this problem.

solutions to tackle the problem are available to governments and individuals.

some measures can be taken by governments and individuals to tackle this problem

Job satisfaction influences in work quality. Some people view that the only thing which influencesresult in job satisfaction is material benefit. However, i (capital letter) do agree that personal well-being plays vital role in making worker satisfied. it is realistic reason to enjoy the job.

Note:
1. Some grammatical error (subject verb agreement, inaccurate complex structure, plural-singular)
2. Capital letter
3. Misspelling
Those problems can be solve as long as you can pay attention to your writing and spend some minutes to check your writing before it's uploaded. Keep writing and read many sample answers. "Rome was not built in a day"


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