Background information
We become integrated persons in society when we got a job. A job means skills and new life experience.
There are a variety of jobs: full time, part -time, temporary, seasonal, self-employment.
Every person chooses his/her type of job depending on his/her skills, studies and experience.
Problems
During the past twenty years, some jobs gained respect, for example; making a career in medicine field and becoming a doctor is the best option for you to consider it and also the best paid job.
From another point of view, some jobs lost respect, for example; being a teacher has become very difficult, you have a low salary and you're not respected by students.
The students have forgotten to respect teachers because many of them are not interested in finishing their studies or they have other preoccupations.
Suggested changes
As the generation greys, their needs will change. Their growing numbers and increasing medical needs will require more health care professionals to care for them. In particular, doctors, nurses and dental hygienists will be in much greater demand.
These new retires will also increasingly look for help from personal financial advisors to control their investment.
Recommendations
In conclusion, personal financial advisor is the best option we should consider it in the future.
Hi Kittyas!
In my opinion, your writing seems like a outline than a completed essay. Because the sentences are not connected together and you wrote each sentence in each line.
More over, the main idea of your writing is not really clear. For example. Your Introduction orients to write about job, but your conclusion talked about finacial advisor consideration!
Hope my idea is useful for you!
