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Ielts task 2: Report: Overweight negatively affects the public health

pbaimar 3 / 1  
Dec 4, 2018   #1
This is my essay for the topic, grateful to have any feedback.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels health and fitness is decreasing.

What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

main reasons of the overweight problem in a society

Public health is negatively affected by the increasing overweight problem in some countries. In my opinion, there are several reasons can be used to explain this situation.

The two main reasons of overweight are overeating and less physical activities. One the one hand, people tend to overeat because there are genes laying inside our bodies to protect ourselves from starvation. These genes were developed from our ancestors who had been experienced the starvation for millions of years since the origination of human race. Until recently, due to the development of agriculture science, at the very first time, many people are no longer in the starvation situation as increasing food productivity. But the genes still encourage us to do so. On the other hand, this technology-based society requires less physical activities from us. We can get almost everything done without moving around. For example, we can do online shopping without going to the real store or use virtual reality technology to travel around the world without having real field trips. This trend makes us no way to consume the extra energy we take in.

In order to solve this problem, the government and society should work together as a whole. Firstly, the government should provide enough facilities to encourage people to do physical exercise, such as building sports facilities in the neighbor or park and organizing sports events on a regular basis. Secondly, social awareness of good eating habit should be emphasized through varies social media, like tv, Radio or internet. For example,

In conclusion, the lack of proper eating habit and physical exercises are the main reasons that cause the overweight problem and unhealthy condition. The ideal solution to address this problem is to encourage people sports or exercise regularly and form a balanced eating habit.

opheophe 2 / 1  
Dec 4, 2018   #2
One the one hand

physical exercises

to encourage people to participate in sporting activities

Hope this helps!
sillyman2000 19 / 42 9  
Dec 4, 2018   #3
Hi. Your thesis statement does not fully include the prompt, as it asks you for the causes and solutions but you only mentioned the first one. In addition, you should answer the question of the prompt in the introduction part, which are the causes and suggestions.

You over discussed in the second paragraph and your reasons literally confused me. It did not make any sense as you said: "people tend to overeat because ...". I think it's more of the natural instinct of human when the stomach tells us when we are hungry, not about the genetic.

You have not even finished your third paragraph 3 yet, and I'm afraid if this is a real test, you will be scored very low.

The conclusion was the only part that I appreciated on because it is too perfect and on-point in my point of view.

I hope my suggestion will help you with your writing. Have a good day.

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