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IELTS Writing - Should the reports of detailed crime be banned?


zchen1987 4 / 2  
Oct 13, 2010   #1
I really appreciate your comments and suggestions.

Topic:
The news media should not report details of crimes to the public. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:
These days, the news media report the crimes in a more detailed way, and sometimes they even exaggerate in order to boost the ratings or circulations. Consequently, many people think that these reports should be banned.

Prohibiting the detailed reports of crime is not unreasonable because there is no denying that the covering of crimes hurts the feelings of victims and their families. It is ruthless for people who have suffered offences to suffer once again before they recover from it. What's more, the thorough reports may instruct potential criminals what mistakes they will possibly make before committing a crime and thus turn them into more skilled professionals in accomplishing what they plan to do; as a result, the crime rate will be driven up.

However, reports of detailed crimes also play an indispensible role in some aspects. First, these reports pose a threat to potential criminals. For instance, people who intend to do something illegal can be deterred from putting their dangerous thoughts into practice; therefore, the number of criminals will be reduced to some extent. Second, the news media shoulder the responsibility of propagating the spirit of the law, and reporting detailed crime is an important approach to achieve this. By this way, the public are taught to distinguish between the right and the wrong and to apply the law after knowing it. These are beneficial to the construction of a law-ruling society.

So in my opinion, we should not refrain from reporting the crimes for fear of a slight risk, but before publicizing, these reports must be checked carefully and permitted by the victims and their families.

Henry

ielts 2 / 3  
Oct 13, 2010   #2
I think it's better if your introduction paragraph states about the topics of ur supporting paragraphs.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,341 129  
Oct 16, 2010   #3
That first paragraph needs at least 1 more sentence to help explain your argument. Add a sentence that tells the MEANING of your whole essay.

You did a great job with this essay. I'll make a small change: What's more, the thorough reports may instruct potential criminals about what mistakes they will possibly make before committing a crime and thus turn them into more skilled professionals in accomplishing what they plan to do; as a result, the crime rate will be driven up.----- I only added one word. This is really written very well.

Is the ielts difficult? I think you will do well even if it is difficult.

In this way, the public is taught to distinguish between the right and the wrong and to apply the law after knowing it. These are beneficial for the construction of a law-abiding society.


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