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'reports on vicious crime attract a lot of viewers' - IELTS2 Essay


rt2012 1 / -  
Jun 7, 2012   #1
Hi , I would be gratefull to you if 'the introduction' on the essay below is corrected. With Regards- rt
''The news about violent crime may frighten and encourage people to do crime. For this reason, some say that these types of news should not be reported in the media such as newspaper or TV ''.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sadly true that nowadays reports on vicious crime attract a lot of viewers and readers of mass media. However, whether the coverage of the news should be banned or not on TV or newspaper as it might influence people into committing crime is going to be discussed in the essay.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Jun 7, 2012   #2
It is sadly true that nowadays, reports of vicious crimes attract a lot of television viewers and readers of mass media.

However, whether the coverage of the news should be banned or not on TV or in newspapers, as it might influence people in to committing crimes is going to be discussed in the essay.

I hope this is helpful. When you finish your essay, send it back here for an edit if you like.

:)
Mriytunjay 4 / 8 2  
Jun 8, 2012   #3
Crime is always abominable for the society, thus by publicizing it through any media should be detested. However, it is essential to spread the news which is pragmatic and whose circulation is very much essential to the society. Publicizing unwanted news have the adverse effect to society and also enhances such crimes within it.

Everyday we hear various kind of crimes around us. Starting from corruption to homicides. Some news are so brutal and horrific that it tremble us. However, spreading of homogeneous mixture of news is essential to society. Else, we will be ignore with some critical ones. But, questions arise, How , when and where it should be spread? For instance the news such as physical abuses and homicides should spread with proper precautions so that it should not evoke pessimistic notion within people. Further general issues such as corruption should come to lime light with proper remedial measure so that it can be counter further. Else it will give idea to people to carry it forward. Moreover, crimes related to physical abuses should spread to the lime light with proper statistic in view, as it is evident that these kind of crimes are quiet prominent in our society but deliberately spreading such news will conceive two kind of notion among people. Firstly, our security system is not functioning properly, which gives wicked mind to enhance such activity. Secondly, it gives adverse affect to the mindset of common man, which affects their daily lives.

At the end, It would be better that, rather than only spreading the news, spreading of solutions to counter the issues, for instance for modification of security system, change of plans to make places more secure should also be messaged. Furthermore, awareness within society to tackle such issues must be done. The analysis of the news must be statistically correct, so that it will give people to good indication of proper rate and nature of crimes. This process will not only convoke awareness, but also bring forth faith with our people by themselves.

Kindly evaluate it. I am seeking it rectification and further improvement. Also I can able to get the faults within myself on grammar. Thank you for you effort in advance.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Jun 8, 2012   #4
Hi rt2012. Actually this topic was the topic of my IELTS test that I took on 12th of May. I have a suggestion for the introduction.

The topic is an "agree or disagree" type. In the introduction of this kind of topic you should clearly mention that you agree/disagree with the topic, as well as u should briefly state the reasons of your opinion.

Regards
Ahmad
Mriytunjay 4 / 8 2  
Jun 9, 2012   #5
What may be my score for this essay according to your evaluation. Will it cross band 7.


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